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Monday, October 24, 2016

WOULD YOU LIKE SOME PROPER GRAMMAR WITH THAT?

These pantyhose are available at American Apparel,
in case anybody cares.



This post is dedicated to Janie Junebug,
the head of the Grammar Police.







There is a possibility that mistakes may take on sexual innuendos:
These are from BuzzFeed:

Why do they need help?

I don't think that's any of their business:

Did you know they carry them?

 That's in the Racist Department:

Tumors study karate?

This is just mean:

What about the maids?

They're also useful in bowling:

This is a good deal:

And so is this:

Just because the plural of quiz is quizzes does not mean this is correct:

Are they saying you should eat diarrhea?

 Nobody's putting a funnel in my butt:

This is grammatically correct, but perhaps a trifle unclear:

These are from viralnova.com:

We feel sorry for them but we were hungry:

A pair of tongues is right there:

Of course, if you're a genious, you don't have to worry about misspelling:

I'm not the easiest guy in the world to get along with. So when our anniversary rolled around, I wanted my wife to know how much I appreciated her tolerating me for the past 20 years. I ordered flowers and told the florist to enclose a card that read, 'Thanks for putting up with me so long.'

When my wife got the delivery, she called me at work.

"Just where do you think you going?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" I said.

She read the card aloud as the florist had written it: "Thanks for putting up with me. So long."




In case you need a quick lesson in punctuation:

It's hard to believe that "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo" could be an actual English sentence, but it's true. The sentence uses the word "buffalo" in three forms: the noun buffalo, which refers to the animal also called bison; the verb buffalo, which, according to Oxford Dictionaries, means "to intimidate;" and the proper noun Buffalo, the city in New York. The sentence is an illustration of how homonyms—words that have the same pronunciation but different meanings—are used in language. It's unclear who first devised the sentence (it's been attributed to a number of different professors including Steven Pinker and William J. Rapoport), but it's commonly used as an example of the amazing power, and complicated nature, of language. To better understand this sentence, you might read it as "The buffalo from Buffalo, who buffalo other buffalo from Buffalo, are buffaloed by buffalo from Buffalo." Or, to put it even more clearly: "The bison in Buffalo, New York, who are intimidated by other bison from Buffalo, New York, in turn intimidate other bison from Buffalo, New York."



Lighten up!!

(This was stolen borrowed from Cherdo.) 
















 




22 comments:

  1. Some gems here. Sometimes the grammar police are very, very necessary.
    Other days they are pickers of nits. It depends on whether they are on my case or someone else's.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All hail Janie, queen of the nit-pickers!!

      Delete
  2. I like the old bag sale the best.

    On the panty hose, what with the way things seem to be going these days, I think I know where the "Question Mark" goes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I disagree--I think that would be the exclamation point!!

      Delete
  3. Janie should love this!! I know I did--even though I am guilty of bending all kinds of writing rules--LOL! I just hope people can forgive me and get the gist of what I am trying to say. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Love it! And I'm sure Janie will, too.

    (I guess all the ladies in hunt of a boy toy will have to find someplace else to shop... No biggie. McD's probably doesn't offer a very high class toy, anyway...)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Like most boy toys, these are plastic & easily breakable!!

      Delete
  5. Ha! Love the semicolonoscopy clinic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When Matt was about 8, a friend of ours had to have part of his colon removed. Matt (our comedian in training) asked if that meant he would be left with a semicolon!!

      Delete
  6. Dang, McDonalds ran out before I got to ask for mine. I deliberately insert grammar mistakes just to keep the grammar police employed and feeling satisfied. At least that is my story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There was apparently a big demand for McDonald's boy toys--maybe you could get a raincheck!!

      Delete
  7. That Janie. She's alright. I mean, all right. (She hates it when I type "alright.") I hope there comes a day when McDonalds sells girl toys too.

    Thanks for the snorts and laughs, Fishducky. You're a peach.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We must be careful not to offend the queen of grammar. What if she yelled, "Off with their heads!!"?

      Delete
  8. Thank you. I am honored. I would like to have my entire body painted with two, to, too and there, their, they're, etc. Good thing I'm a bit chubby because we have a lot to learn.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If enough of us chubbies get together we could sport the entire Webster's Unabridged!!

      Delete
  9. These are funny and Im one of the worst at grammer.
    Lisa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good grammar or bad, I still enjoy your posts!!

      Delete
  10. Correct grammar? Yes please. I'm getting tired of misplaced commas.
    These are funny, I like the idea of the Old Bag Sale.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It really annoys me when I see misplaced commas & apostrophes in books & on billboards!!

      Delete
  11. I would be beside myself if my son was in a comma! OR an apostrophe! Speaking of sons...that one about the inner nerd weeping sounds EXACTLY like something The Pony would say. Except there's no such thing as an INNER nerd with him.

    More problems with my glasses. I misread your response above to Arkansas Patti. I thought you told her that maybe, since McDonald's was out of boy toys, she could get a REDNECK!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I once put a sign for nectarines from a market with one from a gas station (mechanic on duty) & read it as "Nectarine on duty"!!

      Delete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.