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Monday, December 26, 2016

YOUR CAT & PHYSICS

This is the basic philosophy of any cat:
"My fundamental job is to rule the universe."


(Reworked from a December, 2012 post with new cartoons.)



There are certain laws of physics that refer only to cats.  Every potential cat owner (or anyone who is owned by a cat) should be aware of them.


Law of Cat Motion--A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

Law of Cat Magnetism--All blue blazers & black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

Law of Cat Thermodynamics--Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Stretching--A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

Law of Cat Sleeping--All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved & as comfortable as possible for the cat.

Law of Refrigerator Observation--If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along & take out something good to eat.

Law of Electric Blanket Attraction--Turn on an electric blanket & a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light. 

Law of Random Comfort Seeking--A cat will always seek & take over the most comfortable spot in any given room.

Law of Bag/Box Occupancy--All bags and/or boxes must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

Law of Cat Embarrassment--A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to its embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

Law of Cat Disinterest--A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest it.

Law of Pill Rejection--Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

Law of Cat Elongation--A cat must lay on the floor in such a position as to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.

Law of Cat Acceleration--A cat will accelerate at a constant rate until he gets good & ready to stop.

Law of Dinner Table Attendance--Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

Law of Rug Configuration--No rug shall be permitted to remain in its naturally flat state.

Law of Obedience Resistance--A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for it to do something.

First Law of Energy Conservation--Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed & will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

Second Law of Energy Conservation--Cats also know that energy can only be stored by lots & lots of napping.

Law of Furniture Replacement--A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

Law of Cat Landing--A cat will always land in the softest place possible, often the midsection of an unsuspecting reclining human.
http://messybeast.com/moggycat/physics.htm






Are you familiar with "Simon's Cat"?  
Here are 4 of his many short (2 minutes each) videos:








Some more cat cartoons, of course:










And my favorite cat cartoon ever--I've run this
before & I'll probably run it again:
For those of you with multiple cats,
a storage suggestion:
pinterest


Gotta go & see if Bud will give me a tummy rub (& feed me!)----fishducky

 


12 comments:

  1. Of course I know Simon's Cat. And of course he knows cats. In all their infuriating charm.
    In my next life I would like to be a cat. A suitably indulged moggy of course.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you saying you want to rule the world?

      Delete
  2. I don't dislike cats, but I refuse to be any lower on the household pecking-order than I already am.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Loved Simon's cat. You captured the arrogant yet lovable beast quite well. They really are the worlds worst bed buddies. Minnie is banished from my bedroom in the evening. I like breathing too much and she tries to sleep on my face.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. From Minnie's point of view, that seems very selfish!!

      Delete
  4. Fluffy sounds like she / he is fun and adorable.

    I have been thinking of you a lot lately. Hope that all is well with you. HAPPY HANUKKAH and GOD BLESS YOU.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've been thinking of you, too. Happy holidays to you & your family!!

      Delete
  5. Uh-Oh, seems my Angel is a law breaker, an outlaw! But he still passes any cuteness test.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I love the cat high-rise structure!

    ReplyDelete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.