Tuesday, February 9, 2016


The ambitious fat man was suspicious when told of a new low calorie food that was both delicious & nutritious.  If it wasn't fictitious, it could be the answer to his wishes.

My squid, Sid, hid what he did on the grid & my kid slid right off the pyramid.

The abbots hated when the nuns removed their habits & acted like rabbits.

The bowler with the broken molar has been in a stroller ever since he was run over by a steamroller.

The city committee felt pity for the itty bitty kitty because although it was witty, it was not pretty.

Jim so hated that the response to the ill-fated poem he created about being castrated was so belated & unsophisticated that it had to be updated made him so frustrated that he had to be sedated.

Don Juan, while buying fancy mustard in Saigon, told the cashier, Yvonne, "Hold on--I've got a Poupon coupon!!"

I was riding my horse through the obstacle course when, with no remorse, my husband said he wanted a divorce if I kept wearing Bermuda shorts.

What could be worse than a curse that you’ll ride in a hearse in reverse & forget your purse?

The calf made a gaffe when he started to laugh at the giraffe for drinking straight out of the carafe.

Elephants wear rubber pants when they sit on plants that have ants.

Poor Piper tried to clean a riper diaper with a windshield wiper.

The doctors were confused when the abused accused refused to be transfused.

True, Sue used glue to fix both the flue & her shoe so they looked new.

Bunny bet money that it was funny that her nose was as runny as honey even though it was sunny.

The virgin sturgeon started to burgeon so they called a surgeon.

Fred took thread to bed so he could sew up his head, which bled.

Even though he was cuter than a fluter on a scooter, the computer tutor was neuter, so he couldn’t find a suitor.

The uncouth youth left his tooth in the photo booth after drinking vermouth, & that’s the truth.

It was Kyle's style to smile to hide his guile while putting a pile of bile in the file.

In the years BC, before there was TV, an emcee by the Dead Sea, to a certain degree, would have to yell like a banshee & point to a marquee to show people what they could watch for free.

The pig took a big swig & danced a jig even as they were throwing him in the brig.

The golf star from Myanmar played way over par.  It must have left a psychological scar because he drove his car to a very far bar.  How bizarre!!

The regal eagle swooped down & grabbed both the beagle & the seagull; was that even legal?

If you can figure out how to wow a cow or sow without causing a row now, take a bow.

It was weird, but everyone feared my beard & when I had it sheared, they cheered.

The snake climbed up the rake to reach the table & partake of the steak.  Jake, the flake, had seen it, but since it was opaque, thought it was a fake.  He did a double-take & began to shake & quake.  His stomach started to ache & he was glad he didn’t also make the chocolate cake he was going to bake.

Even if my voices aren't real, they have some pretty good ideas----fishducky