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Tuesday, March 8, 2016

FOR FEMALE EYES ONLY!! MEN--DO NOT READ UNDER PENALTY OF LAW!!

I posted an addendum to yesterday's post.  Click on "Older post" at bottom to read it. 


You may find this hard to believe,
but sometimes my husband doesn't listen to me!!


Ladies--let's keep this our secret!!



I apologize for rerunning this post so soon (I ran it in December of last year) but since today is International Women's Day I felt it necessary to post it again!!  The cartoons are new.

I’d like to tell you about an organization my friends & I founded a number of years ago.  There are no meetings & no dues.  No rules except that you must tell at least one woman friend about it & swear that you will never tell a man.

Reading ahead means that you agree to the terms of membership.

The organization is called “WHAM”.  That’s an acronym for WHY HUSBANDS ARE MURDERED, although in this day & age it could also mean significant other instead of husband.  Our purpose is to save women the trouble of constantly complaining about the things their husbands do—usually caused by testosterone poisoning.  In my time it meant things like, “I went to the market like you asked.  So, big deal I forgot milk, bread & eggs.  You didn’t really need them, did you?” or “I DID tell you that I accepted that invitation to that formal affair tomorrow, didn’t I?” or my personal favorite, after a day where nothing went right, the kids are screaming & you’re still in your nightgown, him coming home from work & saying, “What do you mean I didn’t tell you that I had invited my boss & his wife for dinner tonight?  Why aren’t you dressed yet?”  God only knows what they are today.

These things are the types that do not constitute grounds for divorce, but we feel that murder would not be an inappropriate reaction.

WHAM members need only to look at another member & say “Wham!!”.  The other member would answer by giving her a thumbs up & repeating “Wham!!”.  This response would mean:

1—I know, honey, I’ve been there.
2—I’m so sorry.
3—What can you do?  They’re men!!
4—I’d kill him if I were you.
5—Any or all of the above.

Congratulations on your new membership!!


fishducky
President, WHAM

PS—The inspiration for the formation of WHAM came from a line in the play, “The Fourposter”.  After 50 years of marriage the wife is asked if she had ever thought of divorce.  Her answer: “Divorce? Never.  Murder?  Yes!!”

PPS—Shortly after the forming of WHAM my youngest son was married.  At the time, he & his wife both worked for United Airlines so, of course, there were many airline employees at their reception.  I told all of the female guests about our new organization & they promised to carry the word back to their many parts of the world.  I fully expected to hear some male newscaster say, “Women all across the world are giving each other the thumbs up sign & saying 'Wham!!’ We’ll get back to that when we find out what the reason is.  Right now, no one will say anything.”
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I am strong--I am invincible--I am woman--I am tired----fishducky