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Wednesday, April 13, 2016

USES FOR A CAT

For some reason didn't run this yesterday, so here it is today!!


There are many dog breeds with specialized jobs.  They are bred to guard us & to search for drugs, bodies & explosives.  They herd sheep & even lead the vision impaired.  They comfort people in hospitals & retirement homes.  They can open doors & fetch things for the handicapped.  The list is seemingly endless.  Many of us, however, think that cats are inherently useless except as a pet or, at best, a mouse catcher.  BuzzFeed claims this is not true.  Here are some of the many uses they suggest for a cat:

An iPhone holder:

A scarf:

A self-heating beanie:

A twerk trainer:

A tabletop:

A beer holder:

An app that tells you when you’ve been 
on the computer for too long:

A babysitter:

A personal body guard:

A chauffeur:

A seat warmer:

An alarm clock:

A designated driver:


A hangover helper: 

They also can just be a friend:

Cats are very willing students:

The government is training some cats to be spies:

Medical schools are finally offering
psychiatric degrees for cats:

My favorite cat job is the laundry assistant:

Maybe you should get a cat.
They pack easily for travel:

And can be stored for future use:

Warning:  Do not purchase their food in bulk:

Sometimes they will give you a present:
(Thanks, Michele!!)



































You know that little voice in your head that keeps you from saying things you shouldn't?  Yeah, well, I don't have one of those!!----fishducky

 













IF YOU DON'T KNOW/ WHOSE SIGNS THESE ARE/ YOU HAVEN'T DRIVEN/ VERY FAR!


If you were born after 1963, as most of you were, you're probably not familiar with Burma Shave signs.  We older folks people of a certain age enjoyed them on trips in our dad's car at a time when gas pumps looked like this:

And it wasn't unusual to find a place to stop that looked like this:


The article below is from Wikipedia.  I'll let it explain them to you:

Burma-Shave sign series first appeared on U.S. Highway 65 near Lakeville, Minnesota in 1926, and remained a major advertising component until 1963 in most of the contiguous United States. The first series read: Cheer up, face - the war is over! Burma-Shave. The exceptions were New Mexico, Arizona, and Nevada (deemed to have insufficient road traffic), and Massachusetts (eliminated due to that state's high land rentals and roadside foliage). Typically, six consecutive small signs would be posted along the edge of highways, spaced for sequential reading by passing motorists. The last sign was almost always the name of the product. The signs were originally produced in two color combinations: red-and-white and orange-and-black, though the latter was eliminated after a few years. A special white-on-blue set of signs was developed for South Dakota, which restricted the color red on roadside signs to official warning notices.
This use of a series of small signs, each of which bore part of a commercial message, was a successful approach to highway advertising during the early years of highway travel, drawing the attention of passing motorists who were curious to learn the punchline. As the Interstate system expanded in the late 1950's and vehicle speeds increased, it became more difficult to attract motorists' attention with small signs. When the company was acquired by Phillip Morris, the signs were discontinued on advice of counsel. 
1963 was the last year for the signs, most of which were repeats, including the final slogan, which had first appeared in 1953:
·     OUR FORTUNE / IS YOUR / SHAVEN FACE / IT'S OUR BEST / ADVERTISING SPACE / BURMA-SHAVE

Special promotional messages:

·        FREE OFFER! FREE OFFER! / RIP A FENDER OFF YOUR CAR / MAIL IT IN / FOR A HALF-POUND JAR / BURMA-SHAVE
A large number of fenders were received by the company, which made good on its promise.
·        FREE — FREE / A TRIP TO MARS / FOR 900 / EMPTY JARS / BURMA-SHAVE
One respondent, Arlyss French, who was the owner of a Red Owl grocery store, did submit 900 empty jars; the company replied: "If a trip to Mars / you earn / remember, friend / there's no return." The company, on the recommendation of Red Owl's publicity team, sent him on vacation to the town of Moers (often pronounced "Mars" by foreigners) in Germany



·      DOES YOUR HUSBAND / MISBEHAVE / GRUNT AND GRUMBLE / RANT AND RAVE / SHOOT THE BRUTE SOME / BURMA-SHAVE

In 1931, the writers began to reveal a "cringe factor" side to their creativity, which would increase over time:
·        NO MATTER / HOW YOU SLICE IT / IT'S STILL YOUR FACE / BE HUMANE / USE / BURMA-SHAVE

In 1932, the company recognized the popularity of the signs with a self-referencing gimmick:
·         FREE / ILLUSTRATED / JINGLE BOOK / IN EVERY / PACKAGE / BURMA-SHAVE
·       A SHAVE / THAT'S REAL / NO CUTS TO HEAL / A SOOTHING / VELVET AFTER-FEEL / BURMA-SHAVE

In 1935, the first known appearance of a road safety message appeared, combined with a punning sales pitch:
·      TRAIN APPROACHING / WHISTLE SQUEALING / STOP / AVOID THAT RUN-DOWN FEELING / BURMA-SHAVE

·        KEEP WELL / TO THE RIGHT / OF THE ONCOMING CAR / GET YOUR CLOSE SHAVES / FROM THE HALF POUND JAR / BURMA-SHAVE

Safety messages began to increase in 1939, as these examples show. (The first of the four is a parody of "Paul Revere's Ride" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.)
·         HARDLY A DRIVER / IS NOW ALIVE / WHO PASSED / ON HILLS / AT 75 / BURMA-SHAVE

·         PAST / SCHOOLHOUSES / TAKE IT SLOW / LET THE LITTLE / SHAVERS GROW / BURMA-SHAVE

·       IF YOU DISLIKE / BIG TRAFFIC FINES / SLOW DOWN / TILL YOU / CAN READ THESE SIGNS / BURMA-SHAVE


·         DON'T TAKE / A CURVE / AT 60 PER. / WE HATE TO LOSE / A CUSTOMER / BURMA-SHAVE

The lyrics:

         Way down yonder by the forks of the branch
The old sow whistled and the little pigs danced
Burma Shave, Burma, Burma, Burma Shave
I bet I’ve seen a million rows
Of them little red poles and its signs up and down the line
Come on come on one more time

        Yonder goes Willie, he’s passin’ on a hill

He don’t dress nice but he drives fit to kill
Burma Shave, Burma, Burma, Burma Shave
I bet I’ve seen a million rows
Of them little red poles and its signs up and down the line
Giddy up giddy up tally ho

         Well my pappy ain’t smart he ain’t good at quizzin’

But one thing he knows is how to keep mama his’n
Burma Shave, Burma, Burma, Burma Shave
I bet I’ve seen a million rows
Of them little red poles and its signs up and down the line
Come on, come on one more time

       Roses are red and violets are blue you chase me and so am I

Burma Shave, Burma, Burma, Burma Shave
I bet I’ve seen a million rows
Of them little red poles and its signs up and down the line
Come on, come on

Two of the books written on the subject:


Signs & replicas I found online:
















These were funny enough,
so just a few cartoons today:





It's been said/ or is it a rumor/ that you like/ my sense of humor?----fishducky