Did you ever realize that the definition of baby could be:
A small, poopy man or woman, no taller than a lamp
The following pictures & explanation were sent to me by Cranky at joeh-crankyoldman.blogspot.com. Thank you, Joe!! This should clear up any questions my followers might have on reproduction:
Canadian photographer Patrice Laroche surely will
have no
trouble explaining to his kids about the birds and the bees. During
his wife Sandra’s pregnancy, the artist created this explanatory photo series titled “How to Make
a Baby”. The pregnancy saga of Sandra and
Patrice basically denounces all the traditional cabbage patch and stork
stories.
If you're in a big hurry
(like you have dinner plans or something)
you could do it like this:
This is another possible explanation:
This was a funny movie!!:
I'm pretty sure that this quote from the movie "Knocked Up" doesn't have it right:
"Well. I think a
stork, he umm, he drops it down and then, and then, a hole goes in your body
and there's blood everywhere, coming out of your head and then you push your
belly button and then your butt falls off and then you hold your butt and you have
to dig and you find the little baby."
This kid might also be a little confused:
My
cousin was expecting her second child, and her three year old told me that she
figured out how her sister was going to be born. Her mom looked at me with
this, "Yeah... I have no idea what she's talking about because we didn't
tell her anything about it" look on her face, and we waited to hear what
she had to say, expecting it to be pure gold. And of course, she didn't
disappoint:
"Well, when my mom gets so big she can't put on her pants anymore, she'll go to the hospital. Then the doctor will press on her button (as she pointed to my cousin's protruding, turkey-timer thermometer navel), and he'll keep pressing it until my mom get sick of it and throws my baby sister up."
"Well, when my mom gets so big she can't put on her pants anymore, she'll go to the hospital. Then the doctor will press on her button (as she pointed to my cousin's protruding, turkey-timer thermometer navel), and he'll keep pressing it until my mom get sick of it and throws my baby sister up."
allnurses.com
Some celebrity quotes on the subject:
Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from
the inside. --Rita Rudner
Some celebrity quotes on the subject:
People are giving birth
underwater now. They say it’s less traumatic for the baby because it’s under
water. But it’s certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool. --Elayne
Boosler
Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it
over your head. –-Carol Burnett
You know what they say when a supermodel gets pregnant? Now
she’s eating for one. –-Jay Leno
How can I have morning sickness when I don’t get up
till noon? –-Rita Rudner
Pregnancy is like looking both ways before you cross the street & then getting hit by an airplane
----fishducky
