(A reworked post from 2012 with all new cartoons.)
Some things are perfect, like this flower:
Or the pattern of ripples on this lake:
When I was about
4--I remember being perfect until that time--my brother was ill & the
doctor was coming over to examine him. (Ask your parents what the archaic term
“house call” means. Or your
grandparents.) I was in our backyard
doing some genteel ladylike thing such as climbing a tree or possibly digging a
hole. My mother came & got me & dragged
led me into the house so she could clean me up in preparation for the doctor’s
visit. She took a washcloth &
scrubbed my face. This did not go over
too well with me. According to my
mother, I screamed at her, “PUT THAT DIRT
BACK ON MY FACE!!”
We used to go to
Acapulco with friends every year. We
always stayed at Hotel Las Brisas. Las
Brisas consists of about 250 “casitas” (little free-standing houses). Each one has its own fenced in privacy pool
where you could go skinny dipping without being seen by anyone. Early every morning someone would come, clean
out the old flowers & toss a few fresh hibiscuses in the pool. (One day I told Bud I was very upset that I
couldn’t use the pool yet. He asked me
why & I told him the flower man was late.
Yesterday’s flowers were still in the pool!!) Bud & I had finished our room service
lunch & had put the tray outside the gate so it could be picked up & we
could skinny dip without interruptions.
Someone came to get the tray & I heard the rattling of dishes &
glassware. We had been married between
20 & 25 years at the time, but as they say, old habits die hard. When I heard the noise outside the gate &
realized we were naked & in the pool together, I had a terrifying thought:
“Oh, my God, my mother is coming!!”
Las Brisas
Another time I
(may) have been guilty: I was driving
with my 3 year old daughter & infant son in the backseat. I drove through an intersection & was
pulled over by a policeman. I asked him
why he had stopped me & he told me I had run a red light. I honestly told him that I hadn’t--that the
light was amber & changing when I went through. My helpful (?) daughter piped up, “No, Mommy,
it was red!!” It’s always nice to have a
witness--however, I would have preferred one who was on my side. I got the ticket.
And then there
was the time I was feeling put upon, unappreciated & totally
exhausted--in other words, completely normal
for someone with 3 children, all under the age of 6. I couldn’t take it any longer. I had to get away. I HAD
TO RUN AWAY!! I couldn’t leave the
kids alone so I piled them in the backseat of the car & strapped them in to
keep them from killing each other. I
understand that there is a secondary (& therefore of lesser importance)
benefit to seat belts. It helps keep
them safe. They asked where we were
going. I told them “I DON’T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!”
& not to say another word. I drove. Anywhere.
We ended up at an ice cream parlor about 5 miles from the house. So the trip wouldn’t be a total loss, we all
went in & had sundaes. They wanted
to know why I had taken them out for a treat but I wouldn’t allow them to talk
yet.
Recently I accidentally dropped something into the disposer, which was not on, so don't worry!! I reached in to retrieve it, which I had done with no problem many times before. Apparently this was the first time I had tried with these bracelets on. My hand went in easily & I grabbed the item with my fingertips & could not get my hand out. The bracelets had made my wrist too big!! I ran warm water--no help. I poured some liquid soap--still no good. I stood there for several minutes crying because I was sure I'd need a plumber or the EMTs to set me free. I finally was able to roll the bracelets up my arm & my hand slipped right out. That's when I got the boo-boo on the back of my hand. (I apologize for the unattractiveness of this picture but my hand's 81 years old!!)
Recently I accidentally dropped something into the disposer, which was not on, so don't worry!! I reached in to retrieve it, which I had done with no problem many times before. Apparently this was the first time I had tried with these bracelets on. My hand went in easily & I grabbed the item with my fingertips & could not get my hand out. The bracelets had made my wrist too big!! I ran warm water--no help. I poured some liquid soap--still no good. I stood there for several minutes crying because I was sure I'd need a plumber or the EMTs to set me free. I finally was able to roll the bracelets up my arm & my hand slipped right out. That's when I got the boo-boo on the back of my hand. (I apologize for the unattractiveness of this picture but my hand's 81 years old!!)
Shut up & eat your ice cream----fishducky
