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Monday, August 22, 2016

I'M NOT LAZY; I WORK HARD ALL DAY AT CONVERTING OXYGEN TO CARBON DIOXIDE








(A little bit of this is from a previous post but most of it isn't.)

I don't know why I feel so lazy today.  I haven't felt this lethargic since...yesterday!!  It's now 6:30pm & I'm thinking of taking a shower & getting dressed although it's probably too late to even bother with that now.


I don't clean my house any more because I get too distracted by the cool stuff I find.  I hate housework because a few months later I just have to start all over again.  Housework probably won't kill me but why take a chance?  Maybe laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but she is a mother & I have to respect her.

I have an easy job.  I'm off Monday through Friday & I don't work weekends.  I must be doing a good job, because I just got a raise!!  You might be able to find a position like this--just check the want ads under "Jewish American Princess wanted".  (Warning: You may have to sleep with your boss!!) 

Being married to Bud is the ideal job for me.  I don’t like pressure.   Take the unnecessary pressure of having to get dressed every morning, whether or not you’re going anywhere.  My husband came up with an easy solution for himself.  He doesn’t.    He simply puts on a polo shirt--& there he is, in tighty-whities & polo shirt.  It used to bother me, & then I thought--why not try it?  At first, I would stay in my pajamas until 10:00 am, when I felt I had to dress.  Then my deadline went to noon, & then 2:00, & then 4:00 when I realized I was putting too much pressure on myself.  I didn’t need this stinking pressure!!  Now I quite often stay in my pajamas all day.

Do you know what they call a lazy kangaroo?  A pouch potato!!

I'm not as lazy as these people from BuzzFeed.
If they won a gold medal in the Laziness Olympics,
they'd probably send someone to pick it up for them:

Like this guy who can't even hold up his phone:

Or this mail carrier:

Or this tourist bureau:

I'm nowhere near as lazy as this thirsty guy:

I shouldn't say anything because our gardener takes out our trash cans:

I think it works better if you take the chair out of the box:

Sometimes lines do move slowly:

But I always get out of the car to pump gas:

He just realized that 25% of his grade is based on attendance:

Maybe I'm not lazy--it could be that I'm just tired:

























When I die, will I have to climb the stairway to heaven or will God send someone down to pick me up?----fishducky