However, there's this:
As I'm sure you all know, August 26 is National Toilet Paper Day, but do you know why? It's because the first commercially produced roll of toilet paper was sold on August 26, 1871. If it's OK, I'd like to take a short break before you go off to your parties to give you some facts on the subject of everybody's friend, toilet paper. (Thanks to the folks at triviatoday.com, news.charmin.com, bostonstandardplumbing.com & usatoday.com.)
In 1857, Joseph C. Gayetty began selling toilet paper with his name printed on each sheet. He marketed the brand as medical tissue for hemorrhoids.
The U.S. spent $9.6 billion on standard toilet paper in 2014. On average, Americans use about 50 pounds of toilet paper per-person per year, compared to people in other Western countries, who use about 33 pounds per year each. Americans also prefer multi-ply paper, which increases the per-person usage rate.
Koji Suzuki, the Japanese horror novelist best known for writing The Ring, had an entire novel printed on a single roll of toilet paper. the story takes place in a public bathroom & the whole thing is about three feet long.
7% of Americans admit to stealing rolls of toilet paper from hotels and motels & that's just the ones who admit it.
The most expensive toilet paper in the world is the Portuguese brand Renova. it’s three-ply, perfumed, costs $3 per roll and comes in lots of colors including black, red, blue and green.
There was a toilet paper museum in Wisconsin called The Madison Museum of Toilet Tissue, but it closed in 2000.
About two-thirds of Americans prefer their toilet paper to come off the roll over the top. By the way...under the roll people are considered be more intelligent.
There was a limited edition brand called "John Wayne Toilet Paper". The slogan: It's rough & it doesn't take crap from anyone.
It wasn’t until 1935 that manufacturers promised “Splinter-Free Toilet Paper.”
Even though they may feel similar, toilet paper and facial tissues aren’t the same. The fibers used to make toilet paper are very short, which allow the paper to begin disintegrating within seconds of becoming wet. This design allows the paper to dissolve in septic systems. Remarkably, after getting wet, toilet paper still retains about 15% of its dry strength.
Guinness World Records adjudicator Morgan Wilber congratulates Charmin Marketing Director Scott Mautz, and Leonard the Bear, for breaking the record for the World's Largest Toilet Roll in celebration of National Toilet Paper Day, 2015.
Measuring more than eight feet high with a diameter of more than nine feet wide, the World’s Largest Toilet Roll is made entirely of Charmin toilet tissue. The roll was fabricated at the P&G Paper Products Company, located outside of Cape Girardeau, MO, and then transported to the company’s headquarters in Cincinnati, OH for the unveiling.
“The roll contains over 1,000,000 square feet of paper and would take approximately 95,000 rolls of Charmin to equal the same amount of paper,” said Darrick Johnson, plant manager at the P&G Paper Products Company, located outside of Cape Girardeau, MO. “We were sad to see it go but excited for its new record-breaking honor.”
In case you have a problem:
Looking for a cheap wedding dress? Charmin and Cheap-Chic-Weddings.com hold a toilet paper wedding dress contest each year. In 2015, 1,498 women took part of the challenge at Kleinfeld's and the winner, Donna Pope Vincler, received $10,000. An old Irish adage says, "Happy is the bride that the rain falls on" but I'm not sure that's true if she's wearing a toilet paper dress. Here is her dress (top) & a few others:
Here are Kool & the Gang to help you celebrate:
Toilet paper can make a beautiful "waterfall":