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Wednesday, November 9, 2016

THEY WORE THESE ON THE RED CARPET--THEY SHOULD HAVE COVERED THEM WITH A RED BATHROBE!!

It's a good thing I write my posts a month or so in advance.  I am so angry & upset at the results of yesterday's presidential election I probably won't think anything's funny for a long time!!


I can't believe some of the clothes celebrities wear on the red carpet.
These are more revealing than some of the stuff in peopleofwalmart.com.
I should tell you to close your eyes, but then how could you see them?

Beyonce--2015 Met Gala

Rihanna--2014 CFDA Awards

Candice Boucher--2011 Cannes Film Festival


Irina Shayk--2015 Vanity Fair's Oscar party

Li'l Kim--1999 Video Music Awards

Micaela Schaeffer--"Men in Black 3" premiere

Kelly Brook--"Snatch" premiere

Miley Cyrus--2014 AMFAR Inspiration gala

Samantha Mumba--"Spiderman" premiere

Bleona Qereti--2014 American Music Awards

Kim Kardashian--Video Music Awards (year unknown)

I don't know what the occasion was,
but I hope it was a warm day when Rose McGowan wore this.

These were taken at Walmart. 
I don't think the first two are much different:



These from the 2016 Emmys are not overly revealing; just ugly:

 Alia Shawkat

 Emily Robinson

Louie Anderson

As is this one from the Glamour Awards:

Sophie Ellis Bexter

I didn't know which section to put this in, but it certainly
belongs somewhere in this post:
Kim & Kanye (again)

We don't get invited to many formal affairs, but below are the stories of two such invitations:

A friend, Joe, had purchased a table for a Friars Club roast & had invited us.  He did that many times, but this time it was formal.  I didn’t own anything that was remotely formal, so I had to go & buy something.  I found a beautifully simple floor length, hot pink, raw silk dress that I fell in love with.  The only problem was that even though it was on sale it cost $100.00!!  (Remember this was in the 70's.)  My wedding dress probably didn’t even cost that much.  (My family never spent a lot on clothes--I was taught to look in the bargain basement first whenever I went shopping.)  I called Bud & he said to go ahead & buy it, which I did--but now I needed shoes & a purse.  I didn’t want to spend much, so I went to Kinney’s--which is probably equivalent to today’s Payless--& found silver glitter shoes & a clutch bag for under $10.00.  At the cocktail party at Joe’s before the roast, a guest told me she really liked my shoes & asked where I got them.  I burst out laughing & said, “I’d be happy to tell you, but only after you compliment me on my dress!!”

This is pretty much what my dress & shoes looked like
except my shoes were much more sparkly:

We were invited to a swimming party at a friend's home.  The invitations read "Black tie"--we couldn't understand what that meant for a pool party, either--until we got there.  The host & hostess & their three kids were all wearing bathing suits & black ties.  If that weren't funny enough, their three labrador retrievers were also sporting black ties!!  Something like this:

This is how I would have looked:



A few nudity jokes from jokes4us.com:

Q: What did the elephant say to a naked man?
A: Hey, that's cute but can you breathe through it?

A 60 year old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed laughing and singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her awhile then says, "You look ridiculous, what on earth are you doing?" She says, "I just got my checkup and my doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen-year-old." She starts laughing and jumping again. He says, "Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 60 year-old ass?" She says, "Nothing; your name never came up."

Q: How do you know Adam was a Canadian?
A: Who else could stand beside a naked woman and be tempted by a fruit?

A man and a woman were celebrating their 50th anniversary. They were talking before their dinner about how they should celebrate their big evening. The woman decided she would cook a big dinner for her husband. Then he said they should do what they did on their wedding night and eat at the dinner table naked. The woman agreed. Later that night at the table, the woman says, "Honey, my nipples are as hot for you as they were fifty years ago." The man replies, "That's because they’re hanging in your soup." 
















If your cup runneth over, you probably need a different bra----fishducky