For all of you (that would be approximately nobody) who have asked me to run another cow post, here it is!! I just felt like posting this. You can read my first cow post by clicking here.
Today's title was inspired by Bart Simpson.
This post consists entirely of cow jokes & riddles (from jokes4us.com), cartoons & one video. Are you ready? Don't moo-oove a muscle. Let's go!!
Two cows were
out in a field eating grass. One cow turns to the other cow and says,
"Moooooo!" "Hey", the other cow replies.... "I was
just about to say the same thing!"
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A man staggers into the emergency room with a
concussion, multiple bruises, and a five iron wrapped around his neck. Naturally
the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this" said the
man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult
hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for
them, and while I was rooting around I noticed that one of the cows had
something white in its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and
sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it stuck right in
the middle of the cow's butt. That’s when I made my mistake." "What
did you do?" asked the doctor. "Well, I lifted the tail, pointed, and
yelled to my wife, 'Hey! This looks
like yours!!' "
--------------------------------------------
Q: Why don't cows have any money?
A: Because farmers
milk them dry
Q: What did mama cow say to baby cow?
A: It's pasture bedtime.
Q: Do you know why the cow jumped over the
moon?
A: The farmer had cold hands.
Q: What do you call a herd of cows
masturbating?
A: Beef strokin' off.
Q: How do you make a milkshake?
A: Give a cow a pogo
stick.
Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
A:
Laughing stock.
Q: What do you get when you walk under a cow?
A: A pat
on the head.
Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Their horns don't work.
Q: What are the spots on black and white cows?
A: Holstains
Q: What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
A:
Milk of Amnesia
Q: What do call a cow that has just had a calf?
A:
Decalfenated
Q: Did you hear about the cow that wasn't interested in bulls?
A:
She was an Ho-Moo-Sexual.
Q: What do you call a cow with no front legs?
A: Lean
Beef
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs at all?
A: Ground beef
Q: What do you get when you cross and smurf and a cow?
A: Blue cheese!
Q: What does an invisible man drink?
A: Evaporated
milk
Q: What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
A: A Milk
Sheikh
If you didn't like these cow jokes don't worry, I've got udders----fishducky
