Thursday, November 24, 2016


Arthur was the firstborn son of King Uther Pendragon and heir to the throne. However, these were very troubled times and Merlin, a wise magician, advised that the baby Arthur should be raised in a secret place which later became known as Hyannisport.  So that none should know his true identity, they changed his name to John Fitzgerald Kennedy.

As Merlin feared, when King Uther died there was great conflict over who should be the next king. Merlin used his magic to set a sword in a stone. Written on the sword, in letters of gold, were these words: "Whoso pulleth out this sword of this stone is the rightwise born king of all England." Of course, all the contenders for the throne took their turn at trying to draw the sword, but none could succeed. John, with the help of a magic potion called WD-40, withdrew the sword for another to use in a tournament. Following this he became King.

He gathered knights around him; one of his favorites was called Lancelot, but in reality was his long lost brother, Bobby.  They fought back against the Saxons who, since the Romans left Britain, were slowly but surely taking the country over. After many great battles & a huge victory at the polls the Saxons' advance was halted.

John's base was at a place called Camelot. Here he built a strong castle. His knights met at small folding card tables until one of them spotted a good deal on a large round one at Ikea. They carried out acts of chivalry such as rescuing damsels in distress and fought against strange beasts & Republicans. They also searched for a lost treasure, a bucket whose contents they believed would cure all ills & garner him many votes--this was the "Quest for the Holy Pail".

Under the guidance of Merlin, John had obtained a magical sword from The Lady Of The Lake. This sword was called "Excalibur" and with this weapon he vanquished many foes, including Sir Richard of Nixon.

Jackie, John's beautiful wife brought romance to the story while his equally beautiful half sister 
Tina Fey Morgan le Fay added a comedic side.  

Unfortunately, as peace settled over the country things turned sour within the court of Camelot & civil war broke out. In the final battle at Dallas both John & Mordred, John's traitorous nephew, were mortally wounded. John was set upon a boat & floated down the Potomac River to the isle of Avalon. Here his wounds were treated by three mysterious maidens, one of whom was rumored to be Marilyn Monroe. His body was never found & many say that he rests under a hill with all his knights--ready to ride forth & save the country again.


I can’t adult today.  Please don’t make me adult----fishducky