I've had many things said to me over the years, but I don't recall ever hearing these:
Mugger (while giving back purse)/How do you find anything in here?
Doctor/Keep smoking—it’s good for you.
Mammogram tech/This won’t hurt at all. It’s designed by a woman.
Traffic cop/No, I didn’t see you blow that stop sign. I just pulled you over because you were so pretty.
Contractor/I finished all my remodeling jobs on or before their due date.
Art dealer/I want to buy every single one of your paintings.
Waiter/As a matter of fact, I did spit into your food. Why do you ask?
Car salesman/As you know, I’m sworn to tell the truth.
Exterminator/I’m afraid of bugs.
Passport photographer/Everybody loves my work.
House painter/I just knew you’d love all your walls in red.
Tailor/Are you sure you want these seams let out instead of taken in?
Dance partner/Please don’t apologize. I love it when you step on my feet.
Lobster/I don’t mind baths—the hotter the better.
My kids/Mommy, would you like some peace & quiet?
Golf instructor/You have the perfect swing.
Tiger/Of course you can pet me. I promise I won’t bite.
Mechanic/The final bill on your car repairs came to $137.80 less than the estimate.
Opposition’s attorney/I’m sorry, Your Honor, my client must have lied.
God/You are perfection incarnate.
Two things I thought I'd never hear, but I did:
1. A Bank of America manager to a teller about us/Give them anything they want
We had a great relationship with our local B of A manager. We were out of the area & stopped in another branch to cash a large check. We did not have the proper identification. Bud told them to call our manager & said that he would tell them to give us anything we want. We could see the manager making the phone call & start to laugh. He said our manager said to give us anything we want--so he did!!
2. My doctor/don’t lose any more weight
I've always had a problem with my weight but I lost pounds rapidly on the liquid protein diet. I wanted to lose a couple more pounds so my actual weight would match the weight on my driver’s license.