(Reworked form a May, 2012 post.)
I really have nothing specific to tell you today, so I'll post this.
My ears were constantly
popping—like when you’re on a plane, but I wasn’t on a plane—so I went to see
an ENT. He said my Eustachian tubes
were blocked, cleaned them out & inserted some tubing to keep them open for
a while. He asked me if I smoked & I
told him I did. He said that he had
another patient with the same condition.
The doctor said that it wasn’t a good idea, but that the guy won bar
bets because of his ear problem. You’ve
heard the expression, “Blow it out your ear”?
Well, he--& I--could! With
our tubes, we just had to inhale some smoke, close our mouth, pinch our nose
shut & blow. Smoke would come out of
our ears! I only tried it once or twice--I
had to show Bud (& myself) I could really do it.
My dad’s given name was Angel Kiewitsky. He always went by
the name Archie Keyes. When I was starting college he decided to have it
changed legally. Off went our family to the courthouse. As I
recall, almost the entire conversation between the judge & my father went
like this: Judge: “Your name is Angel Kiewitsky?” AK: “Yes, Your
Honor.” Judge: “And you want it changed to Archie Keyes?” AK: “Yes,
sir.” Judge: “I don’t blame you. Granted.”
My son & my son-in-law are very good friends. Some time
ago, they were having a minor argument--more like a difference of
opinion. My son-in-law was going on & on when Blake interrupted him
to ask, “I don’t understand. What is your point?” My son-in-law
answered, “Exactly--I have no point!” I think that answer
alone makes him eligible to be a member of our family.
Children Are So
Literally Minded Dept: The Broadway musical “Beauty and the Beast” was playing
in our city. Our oldest granddaughter was about 4 or 5 at the time &
I decided to take her to see it. She had been to movies but never a stage
show. I wanted her to know what she was going to see. I told her it
would be a lot like a movie, with people singing & dancing. I said
the difference would be that the people were live & real & not on a
screen. I added that everyone would be wearing makeup &
costumes. She was very excited, but also pensive. She thought for a
minute & then said, “I guess I could wear my costume from Halloween--I think
it still fits."
Do you remember the
comedians, George Burns & Jack Benny? They were very close
friends. One year on Benny’s birthday, Burns sent him a beautifully
wrapped gift. It was a turtleneck cashmere sweater. The only thing
that makes that interesting or amusing--it was being worn (yes, inside the box)
by a live turtle!
We went to an upscale Beverly Hills
restaurant to celebrate my son-in-law’s birthday. An older gentleman (maybe 80-85) was having
dinner with his wife. He was wearing a
visor & his thick salt & pepper hair, about 2” long, was sticking up
behind the visor. There was a party of
12 at the table next to him. The people
at the 2 tables were apparently chatting back & forth, because at one point
the older man smiled at them, rose & tipped his visor to one of the ladies
in a gentlemanly manner. I couldn’t
believe what I saw. The hair, which was
not his, but a part of the visor, came off!
It was part of a baseball cap, with the hair sewn on top so it would
look realistic. He then put it back on
his shiny bald head. With his hair
intact, he sat down & resumed eating.
It’s a good thing I was drinking club soda & not red wine. Everyone within spitting distance would have
been wearing merlot.
Keeping with the non-existent theme of this post,
here are some random cartoons:
"The most unfair thing about life is the
way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. And then
you die. What's that? A bonus? I think the life-cycle is all backwards.
You should die first and get it all over with.
Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young. You
get a gold watch. You go to work. You work forty years until you're young
enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol and party. You get ready
for high school. You go to grade school and become a kid. You play. You have no
responsibilities. You become a little baby & go back into the womb. You
spend your last nine months floating...
Then, you finish
off as an orgasm. I like it."----Woody Allen (& fishducky)

That flight attendant's advice would have my heart moving faster than the plane...
ReplyDeleteIt wouldn't have made me too happy, either!!
DeleteLife backwards and then finish as an orgasm? I don't think I could handle that. Especially the dying first part, although that could be the way a second life goes, right after the first one.
ReplyDeleteBut wouldn't you like to get death out of the way?
DeleteWhat! You die! Where was the spoiler?
ReplyDeleteYou'll have to ask Mr. Allen!!
DeleteThat Woody Allen is a genius. We really should all end life with an orgasm.
ReplyDeleteWorks for me!!
DeleteI should get a hat and hair like that guy had. I wouldn't have to get my hair done anymore.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
You can find them on the web!!
DeleteDon't encourage me. Before you know it, I'll shave my head.
DeleteThat quote from Woody Allen is hilarious--I love it. And the part about blowing smoke out of your ears--I wish I could've seen that!
ReplyDeleteI felt like Mt. Vesuvius!!
DeleteI would like to learn that foreign language with just one word.
ReplyDeleteCats do not have a very large vocabulary!!
DeleteThe old people of the future can get to the casino faster!
ReplyDeleteI'll meet you there!!
Delete