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Tuesday, January 31, 2017

DIOGENES & THE PHONE COMPANY


(From my book "Fishducky's Fables".)


There once lived a man called Diogenes who lived in a barrel because housing in ancient Greece was very expensive.  He walked around carrying a lantern, even when the sun was shining brightly.  He took this lantern everywhere he went; up and down streets, into buildings of all sorts, to the beach (although when he went into the water he had to leave it next to his towel, because you know you can’t keep a lantern lit in the water) and on cruise ships.  He tried to take it in an airplane, but the TSA confiscated it.  It went with him to restaurants and parties, even though it would occasionally set off a smoke alarm.  He did snuff out the flame when he went to bed, though, because everyone knows that it’s not safe to go to sleep with a fire near the curtains.

The reason he carried the lantern was that he was on a search.  He was very honest and he was looking for an honest phone company.  Regardless of what their ads claimed, he ended up disappointed.  Time Warner had a lot of static in their system.  Sprint would often cut him off in the middle of an important call.  He had billing issues with AT&T, and he couldn’t even get a live person to discuss them with.  Verizon, Comcast and US Cellular were no better.  He would switch from company to company, to no avail.

He went to the law offices of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe to see if they could help him.  They took his case and a lot of money and made him many promises, but never came through.  He petitioned Congress and although they eagerly accepted his contributions there was no help to be found there, either.

What was he to do in order to communicate with others?  The mail took forever.  Smoke signals were frowned upon by the EPA.  Semaphore flags couldn’t be seen from very far without binoculars and they hadn’t been invented yet.  There was a limit to how loudly he could yell!  He had no answer.
 
It saddens me to tell you that he was forced to discontinue his search.  He ran out of money and needed to earn a living.  He started his own phone company but soon found that honesty wouldn’t get a person very far in that business and he quickly went bankrupt.  He searched the want ads, but the only position he could find that he was even remotely qualified for was as a used car salesman.  He was pretty sure he wouldn’t be a success in that field.

He then had a flash of brilliance!  He wrote a book, coauthored by Mother Goose, which became a best seller and started him on a successful career as an author.  Perhaps you’ve read it.  It was called “Honest Phone Companies and Other Fairy Tales”.


















On a different subject, I just finished a book by my blogging buddy, Carol Wyer.
If you like mysteries, it's a must read!!
Right now it's only 99 cents on Amazon.
Buy it!!
Read it!!
You'll thank me!!


 




16 comments:

  1. Dewey Cheatem and Howe; I LOVE that.
    It's true though, an honest man, well, a completely honest man is hard to find.

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    Replies
    1. Don't look for them in the political scene!!

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  2. My wife says I am almost always honest, but only because I am such a horrible liar.

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  3. Replies
    1. Thank you; I'm glad to see you're getting my posts again!!

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  4. Ha! Love the cartoon showing Moses and the screenwriter.

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  5. Your stories always take me somewhere I had no idea we were going. Love your fertile imagination.
    Just downloaded the book. It was in my price range and sounded good-plus it had your endorsement. Thanks for the tip.

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    Replies
    1. You had no idea where we were going & I have no idea where I am; but I hope you enjoy the book!!

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    2. Arkansas Patti, I genuinely hope you enjoy the book and Fishducky - you already know I love you. xx

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  6. Oh, that ancient Greek real estate. I was there. I know.

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. You haven't seen me since the inauguration. It aged me.

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.