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Thursday, March 2, 2017

DID I SAY THAT RIGHT, MOMMY?



BuzzFeed recently asked their readers what was the funniest thing their child ever mispronounced?  These are some of the responses.  I hope you find them as funny as I did.  The only funny mispronunciation in our family was Nameless" pronunciation of chicken noodle soup as "hicky noo noo hoop" when she was about a year & a half or two.  There was the time Matt spelled "fuck" as "fucke" on the steamed up bathroom mirror.  Those weren't nearly as good as these:

“My daughter said ‘armadillo pee’ instead of ‘L-M-N-O-P’ when she sang ‘The Alphabet Song.’”

"My daughter said 'armadillo pee' instead of 'L-M-N-O-P' when she sang 'The Alphabet Song.'"Flickr: 116462146@N08 / Via Creative Commons

“My son pronounces ‘Swedish Fish’ as ‘sweet-ass fish.’”
"My son pronounces 'Swedish Fish' as 'sweet-ass fish.'"
Flickr: bellemarematt / Via Creative Commons

“When my sister was little she sang the second verse of ‘We Wish You a Merry Christmas’ like this: ‘Oh, bring us some friggin’ pudding, oh, bring us some friggin’ pudding…’”
"When my sister was little she sang the second verse of 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas' like this: 'Oh, bring us some friggin’ pudding, oh, bring us some friggin’ pudding…'”
Disney / ABC

“My 4-year-old daughter calls the Olympics the ‘Uh-limp-dicks.’ I don’t correct her because I am a horrible person.”
NBC

“My son used to have a hard time pronouncing his consonants. One day my husband was putting gas in the car when my son asked, ‘Is daddy pumping ass?’”

“When my daughter was 2 she would call flowers ‘fuckers.’ It was the worst when we were out in public and she’d yell, ‘Mama, look at all the fuckers!’ I always had to loudly add, ‘Yeah, I see all those flowers!’ so people wouldn’t judge me.”
"When my daughter was 2 she would call flowers 'fuckers.' It was the worst when we were out in public and she’d yell, 'Mama, look at all the fuckers!' I always had to loudly add, 'Yeah, I see all those flowers!' so people wouldn’t judge me."
Flickr: adulau / Via Creative Commons

“Daughter: *throws tantrum* Me: ‘You are being ridiculous.’ Daughter: ‘I AM NOT DICKLESS!’”
NBC

“My sister made my son a crocheted snake toy. When he opened it on Christmas morning he excitedly held it up and yelled, ‘Mom! Look! A skank!’”
Fox

“My daughter used to call her swimming suit her ‘swimming soup.’”
"My daughter used to call her swimming suit her 'swimming soup.'"

“My 4-year-old calls mac ‘n’ cheese ‘monkey cheese.’”

“When my 3-year-old asks to go to the Lego Store it sounds like she’s asking to go to the liquor store. Cheers?”
"When my 3-year-old asks to go to the Lego Store it sounds like she's asking to go to the liquor store. Cheers?"
Flickr: mith17 / Via Creative Commons

“One of my sons used to struggle with the word ‘ice.’ It sounded like he was saying ‘ass.’ So he’d be like, ‘I need some ass in my water.’”
29 Mispronounced Words By Kids That Are Honestly Just Funny
Universal

“One of my students was talking about being deaf and how you need ‘ear grenades’ to hear. He meant hearing aids.”
29 Mispronounced Words By Kids That Are Honestly Just Funny
NBC

“When my daughter started kindergarten, they said the Pledge of Allegiance each morning. I asked her to recite it for me one day and in the middle of it she said, ‘…and to the republic for Richard Stanz…’ I asked her if she said ‘Richard Stanz’ and she said, ‘Yeah. Who’s that?’”
"When my daughter started kindergarten, they said the Pledge of Allegiance each morning. I asked her to recite it for me one day and in the middle of it she said, '…and to the republic for Richard Stanz…' I asked her if she said 'Richard Stanz' and she said, 'Yeah. Who's that?'”
Flickr: nixit / Via Creative Commons

“My daughter once said ‘arts and craps’ instead of arts and crafts in front of her upcoming kindergarten teacher.”
29 Mispronounced Words By Kids That Are Honestly Just Funny
Fox

“At the zoo my daughter called the ostrich a ‘saustrich’ because ‘that’s what sausage comes from.’”

“My 5-year-old daughter calls Justin Timberlake ‘Justin Tinkerlegs.’”
NBC

“When I asked my daughter what her favorite ride at Disneyland was, she replied, ‘Pirates of the Can of Bean!’”


“When my son was 2 he would call crackers ‘crack whores.’”




“I offered my son a mango and he said, ‘No, I don’t like flamangoes!’”
"I offered my son a mango and he said, 'No, I don’t like flamangoes!'”
Flickr: terry_wha / Via Creative Commons

“I asked my daughter to bring me the condensed milk from the pantry. When she came back she said, ‘Here, Mama. I got you the constipated milk.’”
"I asked my daughter to bring me the condensed milk from the pantry. When she came back she said, 'Here, Mama. I got you the constipated milk.'"

“My son use to be obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine. His favorite train was Percy, but he couldn’t say his R’s so he pronounced it ‘pussy.’ He’d go around saying, ‘I love pussy!’ It was both horrifying and hilarious.”
"My son use to be obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine. His favorite train was Percy, but he couldn't say his R's so he pronounced it 'pussy.' He'd go around saying, 'I love pussy!' It was both horrifying and hilarious."
Jam Filled Toronto

“My little guy used to call bridges ‘bitches.’ He’d say, ‘We’re going over a bitch!’”
"My little guy used to call bridges 'bitches.' He'd say, 'We're going over a bitch!'"

“My kid shouted, ‘Are we getting cock porn?’ at the movies.”
"My kid shouted, ‘Are we getting cock porn?’ at the movies."

“I was at a 2-year-old’s birthday party. He got a couple dump trucks (he was super into building at the time) and sweetly yelled to the whole party, ‘Thank you for my dumb fucks!’”
My friend's son called them "dumb fucks", too!!----fishducky
CBS

“Our 5-year-old son was so excited to see the The Peanuts Movie, but pronounced it as the ‘penis’ movie.”
"Our 5-year-old son was so excited to see the The Peanuts Movie, but pronounced it as the 'penis' movie."
20th Century Fox

“I’m Lebanese and as a child I announced I was a lesbian.”
"I’m Lebanese and as a child I announced I was a lesbian."
20th Century Fox

Way down upon the Mississippi, two tugboat captains, who had been friends for years, would always cry, "Aye!" and blow their whistles whenever they passed each other.

A new crewman asked his boat's mate, "What do they do that for?"

The mate looked surprised and replied, "You mean that you've never heard of... an aye for an aye and a toot for a toot?"


Because I didn't actually write today's post,
I'm giving you extra cartoons:

Growing up, my last name was Kiewitsky (key-wit'-sky).
We later had it legally changed to Keyes.



































I have to admit, I am pretty smart. I know all the right answers!!  Unfortunately, everyone asks me all the wrong questions----fishducky


 





16 comments:

  1. Embarrassment and laughter. In almost equal shares.

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    1. Embarrassment in public; laughter in private!!

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  2. Kids say the cutest things. Mine said fowers and foors before they managed the L sound and when the eldest was about 18 months she would say bum instead of bun. There must have been others but I don't remember them.

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    1. We're going to have hamburgers tonight; I wonder if Bud would like his on a bum?

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  3. These are outrageously silly. One of my favorites: ear grenades. Smiles.

    Thank you for the funnies, Fishducky.
    Be well!

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    Replies
    1. I couldn't hear you; I don't have my ear grenades in!!

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  4. My son liked meeshkin mushkins in the morning...English muffins. That's all I got.

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  5. When our son was a toddler he loved trucks. Unfortunately, he called them F*&Ks. It was embarrassing at times.

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    Replies
    1. It seems a lot of little boys love f**ks, as do the older ones!!

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  6. These were fun. When I was learning how to make the alphabet letters, I asked my teacher to show me how to make the letter lamenop. Thanks to the song it sounded like one letter to me. Yep, red faced as I got laughed at by the rest of the class.

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    Replies
    1. When our son, Blake, was 5 or 6 he wanted his own library card. We told him OK, but he would have to be able to print his own name on the application. He practiced diligently for a few days & we took him to the library. He printed B-l-a-k-e & the first four letters of our last name, then there was a long pause. He looked up at me & asked, “How do you spell h?”

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  7. So does that mean I'm a "sweet-ass" woman. Also, well into his 60s, my dear Errol would call my ear muffs "ear muffins." I think about him every time I put them on, which has been a lot this winter. And I sort of laugh/cry, so sweet.

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    Replies
    1. Errol's probably looking down from heaven & smiling at his "sweet-ass woman" with her "ear muffins"!!

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  8. I think I've mentioned the time I told my toddler, Genius, that he liked to argue so much that he was like a little lawyer. And he indignantly shouted, "I am NOT a liar! YOU are the liar!"

    I thought of that when I saw the movie Liar, Liar, when the teacher asked what his dad did for a living, and the kid said, "He's a liar." The teacher said, "Oh, you mean a lawyer." And the kid just shrugged.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0Mr4ST9EtY

    ReplyDelete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.