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Wednesday, March 29, 2017

SOME FUNNY BAR SIGNS TO READ NOW BEFORE YOU'RE TOO DRUNK TO UNDERSTAND THEM


I've never cared much for beer & Bud hates it.  
The American ones leave too bitter an aftertaste for me.
I did enjoy the taste while I was in Germany.
I also liked a Canadian beer, Moosehead, but I don't even know if they still make it.
I liked these bar signs, too!!













(dumpaday.com)

Blake & I were having lunch & this sign was outside of our restaurant:


I also liked these notices apparently written by the only employee
 who spoke "fluent" English:

● In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER. 

● On the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE. 

● On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP. 

● In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS. 

● In a Cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES. 

● In a Tokyo hotel:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED. 

● On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR. 

● In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY. 

● Airline ticket office in Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS. 

● Cocktail lounge in Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR. 

● Doctor's office in Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
(bydewey.com)


I'm sorry, but I can't remember where I found these:

● Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
 DR. JONES, AT YOUR CERVIX. 

● On a Plumber's truck:
DON'T SLEEP WITH A DRIP. CALL YOUR PLUMBER. 

● On an Electrician's truck:
LET US REMOVE YOUR SHORTS.

● At a Car Dealership:
THE BEST WAY TO GET BACK ON YOUR FEET - MISS A CAR PAYMENT. 

● Outside a Muffler Shop:
NO APPOINTMENT NECESSARY. WE HEAR YOU COMING.

● In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT 

● In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS 

● In the window of a dry cleaner's:
SAME DAY DRY CLEANING - ALL GARMENTS READY IN 48 HOURS 

● In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD 

● In another office: 
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY, PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN 

● Outside a furniture shop:
OUR MOTTO: WE PROMISE YOU THE LOWEST PRICES AND WORKMANSHIP 

● Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS 

● Sign in a German cafe:
MOTHERS, PLEASE WASH YOUR HANS BEFORE EATING 

● In a dental office:
BE TRUE TO YOUR TEETH OR THEY WILL BE FALSE TO YOU 

● Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR 

● Sign in a picture shop:
LET US PUT YOU IN THE PICTURE AND FRAME YOU 

● Notice in restaurant:
OUR CUTLERY IS NOT MEDICINE SO PLEASE DO NOT TAKE IT AFTER MEALS 

● Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS 

● Sign on a newly painted bench:
WET PAINT - WATCH IT OR WEAR IT 

● Sign in London pizza parlor:
OPEN 24 HOURS - EXCEPT 2 A.M. - 8 A.M. 

● On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK) 

● Sign in Egyptian hotel:
IF YOU REQUIRE ROOM SERVICE, PLEASE OPEN DOOR AND SHOUT, "ROOM SERVICE!"












 



15 comments:

  1. Love them.
    Grapes might have died for me, but they didn't die in vain.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love them when they're fermented (& when I am)!!

      Delete
  2. This whole post was a giggle from top to bottom.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad to give you a good giggle, girl!!

      Delete
  3. Ha! Love the art museum handicapped parking sign. I drink much less than I did in my younger years, very little, actually, and I don't drink beer because I dislike the taste of hops.

    ReplyDelete
  4. In college we went to a bar that served beer in 6 oz. glasses for a dime, and every fourth one was free. I haven't enjoyed beer since.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've never been able to drink more than one!!

      Delete
  5. I like the husband day care sign the best.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe you should have taken Dr. X there....?

      Delete
    2. I couldn't find him in the casino, which was his daycare because he's addicted to gambling. Fun times.

      Delete
  6. Haven't had a drink in 40 years but I still remember the fun times and yes, the taste of beer. It is an acquired taste.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I never acquired it. Wine, yes, beer, no!!

      Delete
  7. You don't like beer? No Tears of Our Enemies Soup for YOU! I wonder how many ladies had children in the bar before they felt a need to put up that sign?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you the Soup Nazi? Probably only one!!

      Delete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.