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Monday, March 6, 2017

THESE PEOPLE ARE DEFINITELY EXPERTS AT MARRIAGE

He's not...


...but we are!!

(Parts reworked from several old posts & some parts new.)

I guess our marriage is going to last, but I have to admit my husband shook me up many years ago.  The kids were small & had gone to bed.  Bud was working on something in his home office & I was watching a special on TV about divorce & how so many women found it difficult to cope afterwards.  I went into his office & said, “We’re never going to get a divorce, are we?”  He immediately answered, “NO!!”  I asked him how he could answer so quickly.  He showed me our financial statement (which is what he had been working on) & said, “Because I can’t live on half of this!!”  For years, on the rare occasions when things would get uncomfortable between us after that, I would remind him of his comment.  One day I did just that & he whipped out a new financial statement & proclaimed, “Be careful--I CAN live on half of this!!”

Here's a picture of the wedding of my daughter & son-in-law.  (Note: My slip is not showing!! That’s the way the dress was designed.)  From left to right, they are: My son, Matt (the best man), me, my son-in-law, Nameless, Bud & my other son, Blake (the maid of honor!!).  Before the ceremony we were discussing if it was really a crystal glass that the groom stamped on & broke in a Jewish ceremony.  We got our answer when the best man, after the stamping, turned to the guests & clearly mouthed the words "light bulb".  Of course, I hired a guy to come & serenade them in Italian--wearing a duck costume!!  It’s not often that my husband out-funnies me, but I have to give credit where credit is due.  I gave a toast to the newlyweds saying that I hoped they would be as happy in their marriage as my husband was in ours.  That got a big laugh, but my husband got an even bigger laugh when he made his toast. He said.  "May you be as happy in your marriage as my wife thinks I am in ours!!"  We had had a cake server engraved with their names & the date, which broke in half when they tried to cut the cake.  They've been married almost 30 years, so I guess their love & vows were stronger than the cake server.

Nameless & her husband look a lot alike!!


The second of our kids to get married was Matt. (I keep reminding that marrying Linda was the smartest thing he ever did!!)  He met his wife, Linda, while he was working at Chapman College & she was coaching (& playing with) the men’s water polo team.  She is totally at home in the water & their home is filled with fish pictures, statuettes, etc. With our name being Fischer, they are now “Fishman” & “Fishlegs”.  I remember in the evening after their afternoon wedding there were a dozen or more of us (but not the newlyweds!!) laying on or near our hotel bed eating pizza & watching "Moonstruck" on the TV.   I designed a fish bride & groom cake decoration, about 5 or 6 inches tall, with a veil, wedding bouquet, top hat & bowtie & had it made by a glassblower on Olvera Street.  I don’t know what movers they used when they left for Connecticut, but they should have used someone else.  Linda told me the first question they asked her was if she had any bubble wrap.  Below is a drawing of how I remember it looked before it was (unsuccessfully) moved to the east coast.


It looked like this, only cuter & more detailed,
& it was about 6" tall & made of glass:


When our youngest son got married, he & his wife eloped to Las Vegas.  I guess they didn’t want all the fancy trappings that go with a formal wedding.  Soon after their return we threw them a wedding reception.  I decided I had a right to see them get married, so I performed a wedding ceremony.  (No, I am not a minister.)  It was short & went something like this: “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to reunite this man & this woman in holy matrimony.  Please join hands.  Diane, do you promise to love & honor Blake & to let him have the TV remote control?  ‘I do.’  Blake, do you promise to love & honor Diane & to put the toilet seat down?  ‘I do.’  I now re-pronounce you husband & wife.  You may kiss the bride!”  They were later married (again!!) in a Catholic church in Florida, where her family lives.  We had not met her family before.  At the reception at her sister’s home her father told me that he & his wife loved our Blake the first moment they met him.  Sometimes I don’t know what I’m going to say until it comes out of my mouth.  What came out was, “Really?  What do you think of him now?”


(This doesn't have anything to do with weddings, but it's my blog & I can put in what I want!!)  When our sons were in the Cub Scouts, Bud was the troop leader & I was the head den mother.  We were talking to some of the other parents about our upcoming trip (our first) to Paris.  We said we were booked into a hotel room that was at one time occupied by Mistinguett, who had been a famous actress, singer & courtesan (hooker? mistress?) & that the furniture was mirrored & that there was a fur bedspread.  One of the fathers, Abe, was a furrier.  He asked for a nude photo on that bedspread.  We told him OK.  When we returned, we hosted a dinner for all the adult leaders & their spouses.  After dinner we told them that since we had a captive audience, we knew they’d love to see slides of our trip.   We showed them a few pictures of the Eiffel Tower, the Champs d’Elysee, etc. & then this one, below.  I don’t think it was exactly what Abe expected, but it got a standing ovation!! 


I was impressed by the weddings of two of our nieces.  One of them was proposed to in a restaurant at a large round oak table.  Her husband bought the table from the restaurant & they used it for the wedding guests to sign in & get their seating assignments.  They now have it in their home.  Another niece (her sister) & her husband were very much into swing dancing. They had footprints, like you'd see in dance instruction, painted down the aisle & also on their cake.  After the ceremony, I can't remember if she changed or if the bottom of her wedding gown came off, but she was wearing a short skirt.  The guests lined up & she & her husband swing danced with everyone at the wedding!!

The cake looked sort of like this, 
but the feet were in a straight line down the aisle:



And according to BuzzFeed, these people on Twitter are experts, too:


















































----fishducky

 



17 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. It's the best looking family I've got!!

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  2. I think I've figured it out this time, and by the time it gets really stale instead of a divorce she'll just book me into assisted living and say "I'll be back soon."

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    Replies
    1. What a great plan!! Do you think Bud would fall for it?

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  3. Your husband is a hoot. You are well matched. Also got a kick out of the Tweets. Good to see some to laugh at.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you can't laugh at life, what good is it?

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  4. Oh Gahh that picture of Bud again.... I've been reading your post too long now.
    Lisa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is Oh Gahh a good or bad reaction?

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  5. Ha! Makes me wonder if Mrs. Chatterbox has ever introduced me as her first husband.

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    Replies
    1. I've tried it with Bud; it didn't go over too well!!

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  6. Hey, did you know that in that one picture your slip is showing (kidding)?

    Love,
    Janie

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  7. I'm pretty sure that during parent conference nights, at least once, I received a call at work about whether we had anything to eat at home.

    Too bad about that fishy cake decoration. The picture of Bud should be displayed here at least twice a year, if not more. I was looking for it once, and had a devil of a time finding it. For reference purposes of course. Not for my own unsavory shenanigans.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Would you like me to email it to you?

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    2. Is it okay if I make the photo of Bud into wallpaper for my bedroom? I don't think Willy Dunne Wooters will notice.

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    3. Of course it's okay!! (You'd make a great interior decorator.)

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.