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Thursday, March 30, 2017

YOU PROBABLY KNEW THIS STUFF ALREADY

He probably does.




Homer may not, but i have to assume you already knew most of this: 







1. This item’s assurance that it was not touched by the hands of Martians.

2. This warning for anyone with a throat.

This warning for anyone with a throat.
Or mouth.

3. This brilliant analysis of the Swedish legal system.

This brilliant analysis of the Swedish legal system.

4. This extremely helpful weather and traffic report.

This extremely helpful weather and traffic report.
WAFF-TV / Via uglysauros.tumblr.com

5. This clarification of the differences between species.

This clarification of the differences between species.

6. John’s easy, do-it-yourself weather forecast.

John's easy, do-it-yourself weather forecast.
(You can buy your own, btw).

7. This update to Maya Angelou’s appearance schedule.

This update to Maya Angelou's appearance schedule.

8. When this trash can had been mistaken for an exit one too many times.

When this trash can had been mistaken for an exit one too many times.

9. This explanation of how rain works.

This explanation of how rain works.

10. This astute sports analysis.

This astute sports analysis.
CSN / Via barnorama.com
Go team, do the sport, win the points!

11. This warning for those afraid that trees have developed magical powers of transportation.

This warning for those afraid that trees have developed magical powers of transportation.

12. When this drink needed to clarify its ingredients.

When this drink needed to clarify its ingredients.

13. When this menu listed its dishes carefully.

When this menu listed its dishes carefully.

14. When the water of the day was as clear as can be.

When the water of the day was as clear as can be.

15. When this store was very upfront about what you can buy there.

When this store was very upfront about what you can buy there.

16. This helpful bathroom notice.

This helpful bathroom notice.

17. This library’s hours.

This library's hours.

18. The allergen information on this pack of eggs.

19. This brilliant Facebook comment.

This brilliant Facebook comment.

20. This nutty observation.

This nutty observation.
“May” is a bit of an understatement.

21. This mathematical calculation.

This mathematical calculation.

22. Pizza Hut’s roadside advertising.

Pizza Hut's roadside advertising.

23. And this, which I’m pretty sure is a broken chair.

And this, which I'm pretty sure is a broken chair.
(BuzzFeed)


You think that the stuff above was as dumb as you can get?  Wrong!!  
Check out these jokes:

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. “Where’s my tractor?”

Q. Why did Sarah fall off the swing?  A. She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sarah!!

Q. What’s brown and sticky? A. A stick.

Q. Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea? A. Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!

Q. Why did the man with one hand cross the road? A. To get to the second hand shop.\

Q. Why did the picture go to jail? A. Because it was framed.

Q. What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert? A. No thanks, I’m stuffed!

Q. Why did the barber win the race? A. Because he took a short cut.

Q. Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? A. In case they get a hole in one!

Q. What did the tie say to the hat? A. You go on a head, I’ll just hang around!

Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus? A. “Is that you mommy?”

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A. Frostbite.
(buzzsouthafrica.com/funny-stupid-jokes)

















OMG, I have finally discovered what is wrong with my brain.  On the left side there is nothing right & on the right side there is nothing left----minions (& fishducky)

 
































16 comments:

  1. Your day was definitely not wasted. Love the Misinformation Pageant. Possibly (probably) a pageant I could win.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I could beat you; I am a veritable font of misinformation!!

      Delete
  2. Thank you :D :D
    I'm astounded that so many of those warning signs are necessary.
    Warning that a rubbish bin is not an exit seems excessive. Love the seagull-bagel joke.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's become a very litigious world!!

      Delete
  3. Some of these are the result of stupidity, some to avoid legal action (kind of the same thing), and some intentionally for the humor...unfortunately it is not always easy to tell.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't care which is which; they're FUNNY!!

      Delete
  4. Ha! So much here to laugh at. Love John's "Forecasting Stone."

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ah yes, the dumbing down of America. Do you suppose those of us who can laugh aren't stupid?

    ReplyDelete
  6. It was pretty darn rude of Maya Angelou to cancel her appearance merely because she died. When I die, I will continue to show up everywhere.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One must keep one's priorities straight!!

      Delete
  7. And now Sarah from the Knock Knock joke has something else to worry about...she has a throat and a mouth!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wait a minute... I have a mouth! (insert concernet thinking face here)

    ReplyDelete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.