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Tuesday, July 11, 2017

FISHDUCKY; THE DUCK, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND, PART 2



"TODAY’S TOPIC MAY  BE THE TELEPHONE, BUT I DON’T KNOW FOR SURE"

(This is one of a series of my earliest & most popular posts.  This was originally published November, 2012.  As always, all the cartoons are new.)
                                                           
            My husband was home with the kids while I went shopping.  There was one particular client he was trying to avoid.  The phone rang & since he thought it probably was this client, he told our 5 or 6 year old daughter to answer it.  It was.  He mouthed to her that he wasn’t home.  She told the client, “My daddy’s not home.”  There was a small pause & she said, “Just a minute.”  She turned to Bud & loudly asked, “When will you be home, Daddy?”

            Bud had a lot of dealings with an attorney that I wasn’t overly fond of.  Let’s just say that “Cedric” (not even close to his name, but I don’t want to be sued) thought he was much more important than I thought he was.  Bud was out of the office & he called our house looking for him.  I had previously refused to speak to Cedric on the speakerphone.  (My only idiosyncrasy.)  He was on the speakerphone.  Our conversation: “Hello.”  “Hi, Fran.  Is Bud there?”  “Get off the speakerphone, Cedric.”  “I just want to know if he’s home.”  “Get off the speaker.”  “Can’t you just tell me if he’s there?”  “Not while you’re on the speaker.”    He tried a couple more times & then, in frustration, clicked the speaker off.  He said, “OK!!  I’m off the speaker.  Is he there?”  “No.”

Signs of the times:


            I was very close to my grandmother.  My husband answered the phone one evening & his side of the conversation went like this: “Hello.  When?  Yes.  Yes.  OK.  I’ll talk to you later.”  (This kind of conversation was not unusual.  He was an attorney & many things had to be kept private.)  He hung up the phone & I said to him, “My grandmother died.”  He told me that had been my dad calling to tell us just that.  She was old, but had not been sick--it was very sudden.

            Slightly off the topic: I was helping out in Bud’s office, answering the phone when the receptionist was sick.  There was a small chalkboard above her desk for important notices.  One of the clerks had taken the bar exam & I was told that he had just gotten word that he had passed it.  I wrote on the chalkboard, “Lenny passed!”  I apparently should have said, “Lenny passed THE BAR!”  Some of the office staff thought he had died.

            WAY off the topic, but still dealing with communication: As many of you know, Bud & I have been married for 62 years.  (If you use his system of counting, it’s 124 years--62 each.)  Even though I’m fascinating, he sometimes seems to ignore me when I talk to him.  Not so.  After all these years we have developed our own private language.  In response, he can either just sit there,   belch or fart.  I can then interpret his action (or inaction) as meaning, “That is the most amusing/interesting/informative thing I’ve ever heard.  Thank you for sharing it with me!!”  (We feel it’s important to keep our lines of communication open.)        

        I don’t know who thought of this, but I do know they’re my kind of people.  Some company (I can’t remember which) had an 800 number which was answered by a machine offering you a menu to reach the extension you wanted.  It said to press 1 through 7 to reach different departments.  Nothing unusual, right?  Well, not until it said, “To hear a duck quack, press 8.”  I did, & that’s exactly what I heard!!  The company had absolutely nothing to do with ducks.  Someone just had a sense of humor--& didn’t want to waste option #8. I must have called them 50 times!!        






For a very funny phone call, click here. 

For the funniest prank call I've ever heard, click here. 

















 
            Respond as you see fit----fishducky


PS: (From Barbara)  Women are like phones.  They like to be held, talked to & touched often—but push the wrong button & your ass is disconnected!!


 




17 comments:

  1. I love the man wearing the cone of shame. And wish that a whole lot more people were put in them.
    It is truly strange that you knew that call was to tell you that your grandmother had died. And one of the reasons I don't dismiss extrasensory perception/telepathy.

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  2. I like the one where the man is calling in sick and his boss answers from the ski chair right behind him.
    Knowing your grandmother had just died from hearing a phone call reminds me of the day I knew my daughter was pregnant just by hearing her answer the phone.

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  3. This is funny, I have just finished writing a post about telephones not as humorous as yours, need to add some pictures and call it done.

    I like the "our ancestors had tails" and the last one ha ha

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    Replies
    1. Our phones have evolved a lot; gone are our curly tails!!

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  4. Love that last one with the cell phones greeting grandma.

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  5. Loved your daughter outing Bud. Kids don't do subterfuge well. Had to smile at the ancestral tails. I remember those long cord days.

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    1. I think they were made so you could take the phone into another room & then lose it (or trip on the cord)!!

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  6. A number of years ago a friend called and left a message saying I should call her back. As soon as I heard her voice, I knew her husband had died. She wasn't crying. She wasn't acting as if she were upset. I just knew. How did you "just know"? I want to know because I don't know how I knew.

    Love,
    Janie

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  7. Sometimes, you just KNOW.

    I'm glad my cell phone didn't take a picture when I dropped it in the toilet.

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    1. I assume you'd be reluctant to post that picture!!

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  8. I think I want to thank you for making me laugh till tears ran down my face although on a cold day laughing that much isn't something my bladder likes

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    Replies
    1. I think you're welcome; aren't there bladder exercises to make it stronger?

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.