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Friday, August 11, 2017

SOME SILLY STUFF







A couple had built their dream house some years ago, and furnished it with quality pieces as they could afford them. Now the delivery truck carrying the last purchase, a new bedroom suite, was pulling into the driveway. 

"Finally!" she exclaimed, flinging open the front door as the driver walked up to the house. "I've been waiting twelve years for this!"

"Don't blame me, lady," he said. "I just got the order this morning."

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I used to be afraid of purchasing residential property for the purpose of renting, but now I have an apartment complex. 
Deafness is getting to be quite a problem for me lately. I never thought I'd hear myself say that.
I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.

I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now. 
I'm inclined to be laid back. 
I don't know what possessed me to attend that seance.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
The batteries were given out free of charge.
When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Police were called to a day care center where a two-year-old was resisting a rest.


Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
We drive on a parkway and park on a driveway.
Does "expect the unexpected" make the "unexpected expected"?
Why are "wise man" and "wise guy" opposites? And also "overlook" and "oversee" opposites?
We recite at a play and play at a recital.













I ordered home delivery but I'm still waiting for my new house----fishducky

 



14 comments:

  1. Heaven 'n Earth is made from Lego? That probably explains why some people don't seem to fit.

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    Replies
    1. Wouldn't it be funny if we all were made out of Lego pieces?

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  2. Oh you KNOW I love these. I'm a real sucker for puns.

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  3. No pets allowed at a pet expo, now this makes sense...

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  4. A lot of good ones here. The kleptomaniac "taking something" for it! And teenage Death, the test tuba baby, and "pass Mom." I'm ahead on snorts for the week.

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  5. I don't know either why rush hour is called rush hour .
    Thank you so much for checking my daughter's site .

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  6. That probably explains why some people don't seem to fit.


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  7. Don't know how I missed this one. Loved the too big kangaroo baby. Reminds me of grown kids today coming back home to live.

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    Replies
    1. I hadn't thought of that but you're right!!

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.