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Friday, October 13, 2017

MATH (MENTAL ABUSE TO HUMANS)


As I recall, I was completely baffled by 8th grade algebra.  Geometry, which I took in the 9th grade, was a snap!!  Kids who had sailed through algebra couldn't, for the most part, make heads or tails out of geometry.  Go figure!!

If you'll allow me to brag a bit, I am brilliant.  It's just that math is not my strong suit.  That's part of the reason my marriage has lasted so long.  Bud is an accountant/attorney.  I translate things for him & check his spelling & he does all my math.  For those of you who might say we don't have a brain between us, you're wrong; we have one!!  (Also, he gives me his avocados & olives & he gets all my mushrooms.)




I dug up this collection at Curiosity.com of mathematical cheat codes to divide your multiplication woes in half:


   Figuring out a percentage: You can always switch the numbers when finding a percentage. This trick won't always make it easier, but it's a nice thing to keep in your pocket just in case. So 36% of 50 is the same as 50% of 36: 18. And 18% of 200 is the same as 200% of 18: 36. Now that's a good way to impress a date.


    Multiplying by 11: Multiplying 11 by 1–10 is a piece of cake. But after that, it gets tricky. Here's what you do to multiply it by a 2-digit number, say, 35. First, separate the two digits with a blank: 3_5. Then add them together and fill in the blank: 385. There's your answer! If the digits add up to 10 or larger, just carry the one — it's not 6115, it's 715.


     Multiplying numbers that are just under 100: If you need to multiply two numbers that are close to 100 (or any power of 10), try this trick. We'll use 99 x 96. First, figure out the difference between those numbers and 100 (1 and 4, respectively). Then subtract one of those numbers from the starting number it doesn't correspond with (so 99 - 4, or 96 - 1). 

Whichever number you start with, you'll wind up with the same answer, in this case, 95. Those are the first two digits of the answer. The second two digits you get by multiplying the differences from 100 (the 1 and 4). So 1 x 4 = 4, and there you have your answer: 9,504.




Some math jokes from rd.com:

The problem with math puns is that calculus jokes are all derivative,
trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually
formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic.


Here’s some advice: At a job interview, tell them youre willing to
give 110 percent. Unless the job is a statistician.


Q: Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
A: He will stop at nothing to avoid them.

Q: Did you hear the one about the statistician?
A: Probably.

Q: How do mathematicians scold their children?
A: “If I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times…”

Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar. The first says, “I’ll
have a beer.” The second says, “I’ll have half a beer.” The third says,
“I’ll have a quarter of a beer.” Before anyone else can speak, the
barman fills up exactly two glasses of beer and serves them. “Come
on, now,” he says to the group, “You guys have got to learn your
limits.”

With the Ark settled safely after the flood, Noah opens the doors
and commands the animals, “Go forth and multiply!” All the
animals depart the Ark, except for two snakes in the back. Noah
proclaims again, “Go forth and multiply,” yet the snakes stay put.
Perturbed, Noah finally asks them, “Why have you not followed my
command?” The snakes flicker their tongues and answer, “We can’t
multiply, Noah—we’re Adders.”

Q: Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?

A: It’s two gross.









































Ol  Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions----fishducky

 



23 comments:

  1. My mother and one of my brothers fought over who did my maths and physics homework. I let them.

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    Replies
    1. As long as you didn't have to do it, right?

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  2. Such a brilliant post, well thought out and all.
    Lol at Eelphant's Child.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you!! That was funny, wasn't it?

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  3. I think Calvin is onto something there.
    I was never brilliant, but I did ace the class at math two terms in a row.
    Now all I remember is enough to keep my budget on track and save a dollar here and there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's more than a lot of people can do with their budget!!

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  4. I agree with Barbie, "Math is hard!"

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  5. I hated math and didn't do well in it until I had a couple of math teachers who made sense. The last time I took a math class, my daughter tutored me. She's the best math teacher I've ever had.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A good teacher makes all the difference!!

      Delete
  6. I never took Algebra or Geometry. Heck I barely passed basic math!
    Lisa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All you need for life is basic math!!

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  7. My Dad was brilliant at math and taught me a bunch of short cuts which did not make me popular with my teachers. They wanted me to use the standard process and none other. I really hated those thought problems though--"The train leaves the station at 10:15 going 65 MPH---. Grr.

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    Replies
    1. Thought/logic problems drive me batty!!

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  8. I never was really good at math in school, then the job I had ended up being a lot of calculations on a daily basis, I learned to be good at it then...not so much now ha ha

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  9. Loved these! I must confess... I'm a bit of a math nerd. Some years ago, when I was studying for one of my amateur radio licensing tests that involved a lot of advanced math calculations, my hubby caught me working out square roots in longhand. He wanted to know what the hell I was doing, and I said something along the lines of, "I don't have a calculator, and I don't know where my slide rule is." He laughed and tossed me a newfangled scientific calculator. OMG!

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  10. Last night I had a dream about math problems, and the first one looked like that DOG YEARS problem!

    In dreamland, I was at my grandma's house, racing with Genius and some other person to solve 3 problems. I don't know the prize, but I figured I was going to lose, until I decided that Genius might rush through it, and if I took my time, I might get the right answer if he was wrong.

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  11. I got lost at algebra too, but then I did a lot of accounting and budget work throughout my UCLA career. And loved it. It must have been all those letters, x and y, and so on, mixed up with the numbers that made algebra so darned confusing to me.

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    Replies
    1. I don't think I will EVER understand algebra!!

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  12. I used to be stellar in math. I learned the trick with the 9s multiplication tables. Now, me doing math is like me doing meth. It's bad for my brain.

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.