Follow

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

THE VERY POOR FAMILY




(Reworked from a 12/13 post.)



Once upon a time there was a very poor family.  The mother & father were poor & so were their children.  Even their maids, cook & butler were poor.  When they sat down to a simple dinner of, say, prime rib, baked potatoes & Caesar salad, they had to be careful not to overeat because the leftovers would be needed for the next day’s lunch.  Their handmade clothes were sewn of silk, not the velvet that they would have preferred.  They had a carriage & a coachman, of course, but the carriage was last year’s model.  Life was very unkind, indeed.  How long could they continue this hardscrabble existence?  Would the poor man (hereafter known as P. M.) have to get a job?

One day an itinerant lottery ticket salesman knocked on the door of their castle.  P. M. didn’t want to buy any tickets at first because he was short on cash, but the salesman had a strong feeling he had the winning ticket with him.  P. M. knew this because the salesman said, “I have a strong feeling I have the winning ticket with me.  If you buy this $1.00 ticket, you could win a gazillion dollars.  Even after taxes, you’d probably have half a gazillion & that should last you the rest of your life!”  After much thought, P. M. sent one of his poor servants to fetch him a dollar from under his mattress & he bought the ticket.  “Thank heavens,” P. M. thought, “In a few days all my financial problems will be solved.”

Soon the day of the drawing of the lottery numbers arrived.  P. M. & his wife sat in their matching pure leather recliners, which they had gotten on sale from La-Z-Boy, & turned on their large sized flat screen HDTV (also last year’s model).  They watched intently as the numbers were drawn & would you believe--they lost!

His very first thought was to sue the salesman who obviously sold him a defective ticket.  As they sat in front of the TV, many commercials came on.  Quite a few of them were by lawyers who said things like, “Did you ever take this medicine & break a fingernail?  You may be entitled to money!!”  & “Did you ever touch this stuff & now you have a slight headache?  We can get you cash!!”

The ads sounded very sincere--& lucrative!!  P. M. got on his computer (last year’s, too) & looked for attorneys.  He called the law firm of Dewey, Cheatham & Howe (who used to handle Johnny Carson’s legal work) & made an appointment.  They sued every pharmaceutical company & manufacturer of possibly dangerous products known to man.  

True, most of their cases were dismissed, but enough made it to trials in which they won to get P.M. his half a gazillion dollars & more!!  He never did have to get a job or eat day old prime rib again.  He gave his household staff got a big raise & everyone lived happily ever after.





















----fishducky

 


18 comments:

  1. I don't buy tickets. My partner does.
    Which is tricky. I hope that if he does win, I won't be greedy enough to want/expect to benefit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But isn't the meaning of partner two people who share?

      Delete
    2. If I win big, and by big I mean one of the mega million jackpots, I have close to 20 family members who will all share my bounty.

      Delete
  2. All the employees here at work, play the lottery except me. If they win I guess this place will be mine.
    Lisa

    ReplyDelete
  3. Got the giggles at the guy talking to the empty chair. I play but only the ones with modest winnings. Don't want to make it worth while for my next of kin to want to throw a pillow over my face.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I don't buy tickets and I'm not a fan of the lottery. Acquiring money without earning it usually causes nothing but problems.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Someone I used to work with gave me some scratch off tickets for Christmas. I didn't know what they were. She showed me what to do with them (and no, it's not what you think but it might as well have been). I'm still poor.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's why it's called a lottery--not everyone wins!!

      Delete
    2. Hardly anybody wins and when they win big, most of the time it's like flushing money down the toilet.

      Delete
  6. I had hopes of winning big last night, just like I always do. Hope that is, not win. I rarely win more than enough to but another ticket. But it wasn't to be. Again. Like Donald Duck, I'd like the chance to prove winning the lottery wont make me a bad person.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you have anything else in common with Donald?

      Delete
  7. Cindy keeps saying that she wishes we would win the lottery, and then we decide that we have to play it first.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I play the lottery. Oh, not for my own benefit...but to give people one more thing to judge me for!

    I don't EXPECT a big jackpot. It's fun to win enough to be able to buy more tickets, because like River says, there's always the HOPE of winning the next time. I guess I could give it up, and put my money into cigarettes or alcohol or drugs, but I'm pretty happy wasting it on scratchers and a daily 44 oz Diet Coke.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You do VERY well in the lottery. I don't know anyone else who gets so many $100 winners!!

      Delete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.