Your sex life may be extraordinary, normal or nonexistent,
but it's still better than most of these animals:
(You can click on the blue words for more information.)
Male ducks have corkscrew-shaped penises.
(So when they say "Screw you" they really mean it!!)
Male rhesus macaque monkeys will “pay” to see female rhesus macaques’ bottoms.
(A pole dance has a 3 banana surcharge.)
Cat penises have spines or barbs made of keratin to scrape out competing sperm.
A male damselfly’s tiny penis contains an even tinier spoon to scoop out leftover
sperm from other males in the female’s vagina.
(And tiny Tupperware to store it in.)
Elephant shrews are the only mammals, apart from primates and bats, that menstruate.
(Does Kotex make tiny tampons?)
During sex, flies create a buzz that can attract predatory bats.
(So does Bud.)
(I guess they never have to pick up the kids from school.)
Velvet worms have their genitalia on their head.
(Bringing a whole new meaning to the term "mindfuck")
There’s a YouTube video of a dolphin masturbating with a beheaded fish and you can
watch it if you really want to.
Chimps have penis spines that “improve stimulation” but can damage females during sex.
(How anxious are you to monkey around?)
This is the little Brown Antechinus,
which has so much sex in a period of a week or two
that he literally falls apart & dies.
But what a way to go!!