I know it's true because I read it in the paper!!
Peter
Rabbit is an inquisitive fellow. He’s the middle child of his family of
143, and a little stupid, even for a rabbit. His family lives on the edge
of Mr. McGregor’s farm, and his parents are constantly telling their children
to stay out of his garden, unless they want to turn into a lucky charm, like
poor Uncle No Feet.
But
Peter is small, and thinks that he has reflexes like a ninja. Mr.
McGregor always has such wonderful food growing, and Peter is hungry. His dad isn’t working and there’s only so
much lettuce his mom can buy with food stamps.
So
one day he sneaks under the fence, and heads towards the garden. In the
garden Peter stuffs his belly and is just ready to head home when a shadow
falls over him. It’s the dreaded Mr. McGregor.
Peter
takes off for the fence. He zigzags across the lawn, and hears a crack
behind him, and something whizzes past him. His mother was not lying when
she told him that the farmer had a stick that would shoot its insides into poor
rabbits!!
Peter
reaches the fence, but realizes that he has eaten too much; his now fat ass won’t
let him get through the gap in it. The farmer is drawing near, and Peter
is preparing himself for his death, when four of his siblings appear on the far
side of the fence.
They
scramble through the fence, and attack the farmer. The poor man is
shocked by this behavior, mumbles something about Jimmy Carter being right
about damn killer rabbits and stumbles before careening into the fence.
It goes down, and the rabbits scurry to safety.
Peter
is grounded for a week, and as Mr. McGregor erects a new fence, he promises to
never again enter his yard. Little does
his mother know that Peter is planning his revenge on Mr. McGregor and saving
up his allowance for a shooting stick of his own!!
----fishducky
