I know it's true because I read it in the paper!!
Once
upon a time there was a biker chick with long beautiful bleached blond
curls. She slept with was the wife of she
belonged to rode with Buford “Grizzly” Bear & she was known to all as
Goldilocks. Goldilocks was a little more
than pleasingly plump at about 700 pounds, but bears like that. She rode a heavy-duty Harley.
One
day she & Grizzly were riding & he asked her if she’d like to meet his
parents, Beverly & Barney. She
sweetly replied, “Why the hell not?” They
drove to the woods & discovered his folks weren’t home. Grizzly suggested they go inside the house
& wait for them. Beverly &
Barney had left two bowls of porridge on the table to cool. Grizzly poured himself a bowl & asked
Goldilocks if she wanted one. She said, “Nah,
I’ll just have a bite of yours” & then proceeded to finish all the porridge.
They decided to sit in the living room & wait for his folks to come home. Not one of the chairs in there could hold Goldilocks' weight & she broke them all, one by one. How can I put this nicely, in case children are reading this? Her fat ass was just too much for the chairs!!
They decided to sit in the living room & wait for his folks to come home. Not one of the chairs in there could hold Goldilocks' weight & she broke them all, one by one. How can I put this nicely, in case children are reading this? Her fat ass was just too much for the chairs!!
All
this food & chair breaking made Goldilocks a little sleepy so she & Grizzly went into the
bedroom for a nap & some hanky-panky.
While hanky-pankying, they managed to break everybody’s beds!! Exhausted, Goldilocks fell asleep.
At
this point, Mr. & Mrs. Bear returned home.
They entered the kitchen door & saw that someone had eaten all their
porridge. They decided to go into the living room & found their chairs were all broken. They then went into the
bedroom & not only found all their beds broken, but their son & some
fat bleached blond floozy were asleep on the wreckage of one of their beds. The girl was snoring like a truck driver. They immediately woke their son & asked
him what was going on.
He told them it was all Goldilocks' fault & refused to take any responsibility for the debris that was now their home. Having had years of this kind of behavior from their own son they had now had enough & called Animal Control. Both Buford & Goldilocks were arrested, tried & convicted of criminal trespass, destroying their home & stealing their porridge. Buford was written out of their will.
He told them it was all Goldilocks' fault & refused to take any responsibility for the debris that was now their home. Having had years of this kind of behavior from their own son they had now had enough & called Animal Control. Both Buford & Goldilocks were arrested, tried & convicted of criminal trespass, destroying their home & stealing their porridge. Buford was written out of their will.
