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Thursday, June 15, 2017

IT'S THE YEAR 5777 IN THE JEWISH CALENDAR...



 Isn't it time we had our own Zodiac? 
 It could even be compatible with the current months.
Of course, being Jewish it would be centered around food.
The theme of all Jewish holidays is:
They tried to kill us all.
We stopped them.
Let's eat!! 

Here's my suggestion:

January/milk

Yes, you can milk your rhino (if you're brave enough)!!

February/meat
Meat & milk must be kept separate & served on separate dishes.
Who wants a plate of milk, anyway?
Or a glass of lamb chops?





March/bubbes (grandmothers)
She'll make you a snack, so you shouldn't starve
& give you advice, too!!





April/chopped liver
Not considered meat, since it is an appetizer.
Can solve an identity crisis when you ask,
"What am I, chopped liver?"



May/schmaltz (chicken fat)

If you want to know How to Make Schmaltz

(and What To Do With It Afterwards)


June/potato latkes





July/lox (smoked salmon, as opposed to liquid oxygen))
Theory of origin:
Someone dropped a salmon on some hot rocks
& that's how it was born a lox.





August/kishke

Essentially, kishke is somewhat like paprika-spiced Thanksgiving stuffing packed inside of cow intestine, or more often today, in synthetic edible casing. It can be made vegetarian, loaded with root vegetables and grains, or it can be made with schmaltz (chicken fat), matzo meal and vegetables. When cooked, kishke is soft and savory, often simmered whole inside of cholent
 ( an overnight Jewish stew, which is typically started on Friday afternoon and allowed to cook overnight to be eaten at noon on the Sabbath) or baked in the oven.


September/challah








November/gefilte fish

Gefilte fish is a dish made from a poached mixture of ground deboned fish,
 such as carp, whitefish or pike, which is typically eaten as an appetizer.




December/Pepto-Bismol













Bon appetit or גוט אַפּעטיט, as we say in Yiddish----fishducky