(Some of these I've run before & some are new. Deal with it.)
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Mary had a little lamb,
its fleece was white as snow,
And everywhere that Mary
went, the lamb was sure to go.
It followed her to
school one day, which was against the rule.
The cafeteria lady was
surprised to see a lamb at school.
She offered to take care
of it and Mary said, “All right.”
At lunch she got the
“special” and took a great big bite.
“Yummy,” she thought and
she had another slice.
She knew that all the
other kids had thought her lamb was nice.
The thought of a ham
sandwich tomorrow simply made her drool
And she wondered if she
could get her pig to follow her to school.
RUB-A-DUB-DUB
Rub-a-dub-dub,
RUB-A-DUB-DUB
Rub-a-dub-dub,
Three men in a tub.
And why do you think they were there?
They had just left the pub.
And they needed to scrub
So their wives wouldn’t smell the liquor on them.
And why do you think they were there?
They had just left the pub.
And they needed to scrub
So their wives wouldn’t smell the liquor on them.
THE OLD WOMAN WHO LIVED
IN A SHOE
There was an old woman
who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children
she didn’t know what to do.
She knew she had too
many, but they were all so cute.
They needed a bigger
place to live in so she bought a knee-high boot.
LITTLE BO-PEEP
Little Bo-Peep has lost her pigs,
And can't tell where to find them;
Leave them alone, and they'll come home,
Curling their tails behind them.
Little Bo-Peep fell fast asleep,
And dreamt she heard them oinking;
But when she awoke, she found it a joke,
It was Boy Blue, there for their frequent boinking.
Then up she took her little crook,
Determined for to find them;
She knew her father would yell, for he couldn’t sell
Pigs with no tails behind them.
Then later that day, as Bo-Peep did stray
Into a meadow nearby,
She saw curly parts of their hide, hanging side by side,
All up on a clothesline to dry.
She heaved a sigh and wiped her eye,
And ran as fast as any New Yorker;
She and Blue tried what they could, as pig herders should,
Playing “Pin the Tail
on the Porker”.
BAA, BAA, BLACK SHEEP
Baa, baa, black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes, sir, yes, sir,
Three bags full;
One for the master,
And one for the dame,
And one for the IRS man,
Whose office is
down the lane!
EENY,
MEENY, MINY, MOE
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe,
Catch a tiger by the
toe.
If he steps out of
place, throw a pie in his face,
So say Larry, Curly and
Moe.
GEORGIE PORGIE
Georgie Porgie, Puddin'
and Pie,
Kissed the girls and
made them cry,
When facing a sex
discrimination suit,
He refused to testify
and remained mute.
HEY DIDDLE DIDDLE
Hey!
diddle, diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon;
The little dog laughed
To see such sport,
And diddled the dish ‘til it ran away with the spoon.
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon;
The little dog laughed
To see such sport,
And diddled the dish ‘til it ran away with the spoon.
WEE
WILLIE WINKIE
Wee Willie Winkie runs
through the town,
Up stairs and down
stairs in his night-gown,
Tapping at the windows,
crying at the locks,
“If I left my clothes at
your house, stick ‘em in the mailbox!”
SING A SONG OF SIXPENCE
Sing a song of sixpence,
A pocket full of rye;
Four and twenty blackbirds
Baked in a pie;
A pocket full of rye;
Four and twenty blackbirds
Baked in a pie;
When the pie was opened,
The birds sang and wouldn’t quit,
And that’s when the king said,
“I
can’t eat this shit!!”
The queen was in her counting-house
Counting out her money;
The cooks gave her some blackbird pie
Which she said tasted funny.
Counting out her money;
The cooks gave her some blackbird pie
Which she said tasted funny.
The maid was in the garden
Drinking a bottle of beer;
She asked, “Who gives a damn about blackbird pie
Drinking a bottle of beer;
She asked, “Who gives a damn about blackbird pie
When I’m having so much fun right here?”
JACK SPRATT
Jack Sprat could eat no fat.
His wife could eat no lean.
Mrs. Spratt became so fat
That when he stood beside her, he couldn’t be seen.
That when he stood beside her, he couldn’t be seen.
OLD MOTHER HUBBARD
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard,
Because her poor dog was getting thinner.
When she got there,
The cupboard was bare,
And so they went out to dinner.
Went to the cupboard,
Because her poor dog was getting thinner.
When she got there,
The cupboard was bare,
And so they went out to dinner.
A-TISKET A-TASKIT
A-tisket a-tasket
A green and yellow
basket
I wrote a letter to my
love
And on the way I dropped
it,
I dropped it,
I dropped it,
And on the way I dropped
it.
A little boy he picked
it up and put it in his pocket.
I prbbly shd hv txtd hm!
HICKORY, DICKORY, DOCK
Hickory, dickory, dock,
The mouse ran into the shower;
The clock struck one,
The mouse ran out;
He had an appointment in half an hour.
The mouse ran into the shower;
The clock struck one,
The mouse ran out;
He had an appointment in half an hour.
DIDDLE, DIDDLE, DUMPLING
Diddle, diddle,
dumpling, my son John,
Went to bed with his
trousers on;
One shoe off, and one
shoe on,
I should have made him sleep on the lawn!!
HUMPTY DUMPTY
Humpty Dumpty sat on a
wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.
But if the TV ads are
true,
They could’ve done it
with Crazy Glue!!
LONDON
BRIDGE
London Bridge is falling
down,
Falling down, falling down.
London Bridge is falling down,
Falling down, falling down.
London Bridge is falling down,
So they moved it to Lake
Havasu.
OLD KING COLE
Old King Cole was a
merry old soul
And a merry old soul was he;
He called for his pipe, and he called for his bowl
And he called for his fiddlers three.
Every fiddler he had a fiddle,
And a very fine fiddle had he;
Oh there's none so rare, as can compare
With King Cole and his fiddlers three.
He called for his pipe, and he called for his bowl
And he called for his fiddlers three.
Every fiddler he had a fiddle,
And a very fine fiddle had he;
Oh there's none so rare, as can compare
With King Cole and his fiddlers three.
Watch for the Reunion
Tour in your city SOON!
PAT-A-CAKE, PAT-A-CAKE
Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake,
baker's man.
Bake me a cake as fast
as you can;
Roll it, Pat it and mark
it with B,
I wonder if this comes
in a mix?
PEASE PORRIDGE HOT
Pease porridge hot,
pease porridge cold,
Pease porridge in the
pot, nine days old;
Some like it hot, some like
it cold,
But I wouldn’t eat it if it's nine
days old.
ROCK-A-BY BABY
Rock-a-bye, baby,
In the tree top:
When the wind blows,
The cradle will rock;
When the bough breaks,
The cradle will fall;
Down will come baby,
Cradle and Child Protective Services
In the tree top:
When the wind blows,
The cradle will rock;
When the bough breaks,
The cradle will fall;
Down will come baby,
Cradle and Child Protective Services
SIMPLE SIMON
Simple Simon met a
pieman,
Going to the fair;
Says Simple Simon to the
pieman,
Let me taste your wares.
Says the pieman to
Simple Simon,
Show me first your
penny;
Says Simple Simon to the
pieman,
Indeed I have not any.
Says the pieman to
Simple Simon,
Get lost, you creep!!
LITTLE JACK HORNER
Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner,
Eating his Hanukkah pie.
He put in his fork,
And he pulled out some pork,
And said, "This pie is definitely *traef."
Sat in a corner,
Eating his Hanukkah pie.
He put in his fork,
And he pulled out some pork,
And said, "This pie is definitely *traef."
*Not kosher
JACK AND JILL
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
They each had a buck and a quarter.
They both fell down,
And I don’t know what happened,
But Jill came home with $2.50.
But Jill came home with $2.50.