Thursday, August 31, 2017


1.   Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

2.   With a 5-lb   potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there for as long as you can.

Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

3.   Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.

4.   Then try 50-lb potato bags, and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight out for more than a full minute.  (I'm at this level.)

5.   After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.

Physical exercise is good for you. I know that I should do it daily but my body doesn't want me to do too much, so I have worked out this program of 24 strenuous activities that do not require physical exercise. You are invited to use my program without charge. 

1) Beating around the bush 

2) Jumping to conclusions

3) Climbing the walls

4) Swallowing my pride

5) Passing the buck

6) Throwing my weight around

7) Dragging my heels

8) Pushing my luck

9) Making mountains out of molehills

10) Hitting the nail on the head

11) Wading through paperwork

12) Bending over backwards

13) Jumping on the bandwagon

14) Balancing the books

15) Running around in circles

16) Picking up the pieces

17) Tooting my own horn

18) Climbing the ladder of success

19) Pulling out the stops

20) Adding fuel to the fire

21) Opening a can of worms

22) Picking up the pieces  

23) Starting the ball rolling 

24) Going over the edge 

And for my diet:

1) Eating crow

2) Putting my foot in my mouth

I know you're not old yet, but here are some signs that you might be getting there:

The porn you bring home is “Debby Does Dialysis.”

Your doctor doesn’t give you x-rays anymore but just holds you up to the light.
A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
You remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.
You sink your teeth in a steak and they stay there. 
You read the obituaries to find eligible women.

Old ladies offer to help you cross the street.

Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.

College kids call you mister.

The gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals.

A beautiful girl walks by and nothing happens.

After painting the town red, you need to take a long rest before applying a second coat.

You have all the answers but nobody is asking you the questions.

After climbing the ladder of success and reaching the top, you realize that it was leaning on the wrong wall.

You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

All the names in your little black book end with MD.

                                                              A funny video for you:
Click here.

I don't want to say I'm old & worn out, but I make sure I'm nowhere near the curb on trash pickup day----fishducky