The following are short
quotes from actual police reports. They are actual statements either taken
directly off of insurance forms or things said directly to the officer taking
the report.
“The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over
him.”
“I told the police I was not injured, but upon removing my hair, I
found that I had a fractured skull.”
“Coming home, I drove into
the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.”
“The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its
intention.”
“I had been driving for 40
years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.”
“A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.”
“I was taking my canary to
the hospital. It got loose in the car and flew out the window. The next thing I
saw was his rear end, and there was a crash.”
“I had been learning to
drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and
found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.”
“I was thrown from my car
as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.”
“I was backing my car out
of the driveway in the usual manner when it was struck by the other car in the
same place where it had been struck several times before.”
“I saw the
slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.”
“In my attempt to kill a
fly, I drove into a telephone pole.”
“I was sure the old fellow
would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.”
“I was unable to stop in
time, and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then
left immediately for a vacation with injuries.”
“When I could not avoid a
collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.”
“I pulled away from the
side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.”
“The accident occurred when
I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other
vehicle.”
“The guy was all over the
road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.”
“I was on the way to the
doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to
have an accident.”
“I collided with a
stationary truck coming the other way.”
“An invisible car came out
of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished.”
“The telephone pole was
approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my
front end.”
funnypolicereport.com
Some more funny police reports & some celebrities
who should have had their makeup crew for their mug shots:
Rip Torn
Bill Cosby
David Cassidy
Mel Gibsom
Phil Spector
Tiger Woods
Randy Travis
Lindsay Lohan
& her mother, Dina
And the very handsome Nick Nolte
who, apparently, doesn't own a comb!!
This last one's for Janie:
----fishducky
