Follow

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

MEET THE FAMILY, PART 2: NAMELESS


She is quite intelligent.
This is her old avatar.






This is her 1988 wedding.
She & her husband looked a lot alike.

(This was taken from several old posts; hence the change in spacing.) 

Our daughter informed me that she wishes to be nameless on all  posts that I write.  I will defer to her wishes.  

My daughter, Nameless, & I had this thing going for several years, up until about 2005.  We had a rubber shark.  It was about 6" long.  I can't remember who started it (probably me) but we used to hide it in each other's house.  One day, she would find it on the handle of her toilet & a month or so later it would be in a leftover dish in my refrigerator.  It would magically appear in someone's toothbrush holder, underwear drawer, the slot in a VCR where you insert the videotape or anywhere!!  The really funny part of this was, with no agreement or discussion of any kind, we never mentioned that the shark even existed.  In fact, her husband found it once while I was at their house & asked where the shark came from. Both Nameless & I looked at him & asked, "What shark?"  I haven't seen that bugger for over 10 years.  I wonder if it's lurking somewhere in my house, waiting for me to find it!!  I'd ask Nameless about it, but she'd probably say, "What shark?"

The reason I'm bringing this up again is that in April, 2015, we took our kids out to dinner, as we do almost every weekend.  After dinner I stepped outside to have a cigarette (yes, I still smoke!!) & left my purse in the restaurant.  I am a diabetic & always carry my blood sugar meter with me. When I took my meter case out to check my sugar Sunday morning, guess what was in it? That's right; the shark!!  Only I had misremembered, it was actually a whale.  With a blowhole. Here's a picture of it:



Of course, I couldn't say anything to Nameless about it but I did get this explanation from Bud as to why she needed him to hand her my purse at the restaurant. Nameless told him that she had been getting some things ready to give to the Salvation Army. Among them was a bathrobe that she hadn't worn for at least 10 years.  While checking the pockets she found our old friend.  I'd like to return it to her (unless I already did) but I have absolutely NO idea where it is now!! 

Some very early memories:

When Nameless was small, she loved optical illusions.  They fascinated her.  She thought they were called “optical delusions”.  I think that’s a much better description.

Words were like toys to our daughter, Nameless; she loved them.  She started talking early & she hasn't shut up yet.  We had this routine when she was about 2; I would ask her these questions & she’d answer.  We went to Dr. Spivak's office & did our routine for the nurse:  “What do you call a doctor who takes care of children?”  “Pediatrician.”  “Who’s the doctor that takes care of animals?”  “Veterinarian.”  “Who’s the scientist who knows all about fish?”  “Ichthyologist.”  When the doctor came in, the nurse asked Nameless the questions so he could hear her answers.  He grabbed her up & ran out of the room.  When he returned I asked him where he had taken her--& why.  He told me that his friend (another pediatrician) was waiting in his office to go to lunch with him.  He took Nameless through her routine & then said to the other doctor, “See what my patients can do!!”

This is bringing back memories of my daughter’s toilet training days.  (She is 58 now & completely trained.  This incident happened a while back.)  I tried very hard to stop swearing when she started to talk & was reasonably successful.  Unfortunately, I cut my finger badly while I was preparing dinner.  I reflexively said, “Shit!”  I guess she heard me.  She then went to use the potty by herself.  She tried to urinate standing up.  After all, if her daddy could do it, why couldn’t she?  Then she found out why.  Her little legs were all wet.  She said “Shit!” just as her daddy was getting home from work & walking by the open bathroom door.  He told her that we don’t talk that way in our house.  She said, “Mommy does!”

In the olden days, when parents felt safe in letting their children walk to school & back alone, my parents were babysitting our then 7 or 8 year old daughter while we were on vacation.  They became quite worried when she was over a half hour late in getting home from school.  
When she finally got home, they asked her why she was so late.  Our daughter told them she had taken a “long” cut.

No subject was ever off limits at our dinner table.   Once Nameless asked what a homosexual was.  We weren’t sure how to explain this to an 8 year old.  We told her that while most men love women, there were some men who loved other men.  We said that was the way God made them & that it was fine.  We asked if she understood & she said, "Yeah.  You mean like a lesbian, only a man!!" 

Trying to further my children's love of music, we gave Nameless piano lessons as a child.  To help her learn to read music, we wrote a song together, which she transcribed.  Here it is, in its entirety.  Sing it to any melody you want.  ♪♪“If I were an elephant & you were a canary; if I stepped on you, you wouldn’t like it!!”♪♪













If there's reincarnation, next time I want to be the mommy!!----fishducky

 







18 comments:

  1. Brilliant.
    Which is what I have grown to expect of your family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As Dickens would say, you have Great Expectations!!

      Delete
  2. Echoing EC, your family IS brilliant.
    And I'm trying to think of something else to add here, but coming up with nothing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. My mom and I did the exact same thing with a "Snoopy squeaky toy". Don't know what happened to it either "What Snoopy toy".

    You must be the only person in California that still smokes. I quit 6 years ago and I still miss it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Quite possibly I AM the last living smoker!!

      Delete
  4. The year my dad quit smoking is remembered as "The Year From/In Hell".

    ReplyDelete
  5. My husband and daughter used to play this hiding game with a homemade sock puppet. It ended when she found it in the hood of her sweatshirt out with friends. We have it put away. It WILL appear again one day. Just waiting on the right day. Hehehe
    Lisa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your husband AND Joe? Thanks for letting me know we're not the only crazies--er, interesting people out there!!

      Delete
  6. I really, really wonder where the whale is. ;)
    A friend of mine did this hiding of a pink flamingo in each other's yards between her, her sister, and her mother for years...in Minnesota. Was much easier to see it in the winter--LOL! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ANOTHER interesting person; I guess we're not so unique!

      Delete
  7. You made me laugh several times, especially calling your child Nameless!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I always enjoy seeing Nameless's smiling face!

    Your shark/whale looks like a catfish to this ol' Missouri Val. My niece and I used to do this with a creepy old doll in a box. I think she still has it. I gave it to her with a mossy/moldy leg, and when she tried to clean it, the leg fell off. I think her aunt on the other side of the family originally gave her that doll as a joke, and she decided I was worthy of it. Several times.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One more person of interest--I mean interesting person; I guess we weren't so original, after all!!

      Delete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.