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Friday, January 26, 2018

THE PET AND THE PENDULUM














reworked from a march, 2013 post.

I think there are entirely too many "Fido's" & "Fluffy's"  out there.  I'm not objecting to the number of dogs & cats--just their names.  We say they're just like members of our families & we wouldn't name our baby "Baby", so why don't we put more time & effort into choosing our pet's names?  There are hundreds of names, which, with minor adjustments, would work beautifully.

If your pet shows artistic talent, may I suggest Picatso, Salvador Doggy or Hieronymus Barks?

An animal that insists on having its own way could be Cattitude or Dogmatic.

One that displays a literary bent  might like to be Edgar Allan Poodle, Oedipus Rex, Winnie the Pooper or even Dog Quixote.

If he loves curling up with you & watching Netflix movies, some good choices might be Ben Purr, Edward Scissorclaws, Hairy Potter, Farticus (This name is usually reserved for older rescue dogs), The Purrminator, or Dogzilla.

A kitty who resembles a statue by sitting absolutely still would obviously be Catatonic.

A hearty eater could be Corndog, Catbury Chocolate (for brown cats only), Frank Furter (for wiener dogs/dachshunds only) or Chicken Poodle Soup.

If your pet doesn't like to stay at home, how about Africat, Catmandu, Genghis Khat or Barko Polo?

A dog who is interested in redesigning your yard should be Tommy Holedigger.

It might be possible for your dog to get on TV if he were named Anderson Pooper.

For a pet with the stuff that legends are made of, there's Purrsephone or Sir Prancelot.

He might bring in a few extra dollars if he were a Telebarketer.

If you think he's cat or dog enough to run the country, have you considered Chairman Meow or Bark Obama?

I just heard there is a REAL field champion labrador retriever named Debbie Does Ducks.

If none of these names appeal to you, you could name your furry family member At Random (so you could tell people you just named him At Random), Dammit (so you could say, "Come, Dammit" or "Sit, Dammit") or Peeve (so you could introduce him by saying, "This is my pet, Peeve.")

Some appropriate quotes:

"One reason a pet can be such a comfort to you when you're feeling blue is that he doesn't try to find out why."
--Source unknown

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
--Ann Landers

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
--Rita Rudner

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at absolutely nothing right in your ear."
--Dave Barry


PS--Just got this email--in case you're up to reading some more:

Dogs come when you call them.  Cats take a message & get back to you when they're good & ready.

Dogs will let you give them a bath without taking out a contract on your life.

Dogs will bark to wake you up if the house is on fire.  Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.  

Dogs will bring you your slippers or the evening newspaper.  Cats might bring you a dead mouse.

Dogs will play Frisbee with you all afternoon.  Cats will take a 3 hour nap.

Dogs will sit on the seat next to you in your car.  Cats have to have their own private box or they will not go at all.

Dogs will greet you & lick your face when you come home from work.  Cats will be angry that you went to work at all.

Dogs will sit, lie down & heel on command.  Cats will smirk & walk away.

Dogs will tilt their heads & listen whenever you talk.  Cats will yawn & close their eyes.

Dogs will give you unconditional love forever.  Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.









Imagine that you are a singer & that you accompany yourself on the piano. 
You have a small dog who is your constant companion.  
He always sits & watches as you rehearse. 
Now imagine that you must be away for a couple of hours.  
You leave the dog alone at home.  
You can't imagine what causes the neighbors to complain while you're gone,
 so you set up a nanny-cam.
(The owner was not at home when this was recorded.)


                                        Sometimes dogs & cats have to work together.
This is called, "How to get your cat inside".

woof, woof, arf, arf and meow----fishducky






11 comments:

  1. Had to laugh at "Dammit." I once met a real Dammit. It was raining, my vehicle was broken down and I was walking to greet the tow truck. A large Doberman ran down a lane towards me snarling and slobbering. I raised my hands in the air and screamed to the Heavens,"Dammit, enough is enough." The dog recognized his name, ears stood up and tail wagged. We became fast friends till the tow truck came.

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    1. you're lucky you didn't say "oh, shit".

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  2. I had one of those Tommy Holediggers!

    Good stuff.

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    Replies
    1. as long as i'm doing repeats, i try to find my best ones.

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  3. When I was a kid the family across the street had a fox terrier name Here Here. They'd stand on the step and call the dog--was quite funny. But then they laughed at me because I had a chihuahua named Booger, because she was a little snot. (She really wasn't, she was the sweetest dog and kissed the mailman--it was like naming a 6'4" man Shorty, you know.)

    I couldn't believe the dog carry the cat inside and hanging on to its leg so it wouldn't slip off. Hysterical!!

    You know how much I love cats--but I also love cat jokes. These were great!

    Hope you are getting some sleep and are being waited on like a queen.

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    1. i am getting sleep, thanks to melatonin and benadryl, but bud is making me do whatever i can by myself.

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  4. I don't want my cats inside, but I love that video. I have two Tommy Holediggers right now.

    I guess it's a good thing that Bud is showing you some tough love, and making you fend for yourself when possible.

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    Replies
    1. tough love sucks; i'd rather be waited on.

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  5. My pets named were not so original, for years I had cats that were all successively named Sam, before that I had Seamus O'Shaun, my dogs were Mad Max 1, 2 and 3, my goldfish was Chippy (fish'n'chips) and of course you knew Angel, also known as "my big fluffy" and "get off the table", now I have Lola aka Miss Fancypants or Lady Lola.

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    Replies
    1. my late brother-in-law, a veterinarian, always had an orange cat named alex. i don't remember how many there were.

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  6. I really like you post good blog,Thanks for your sharing.

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    ReplyDelete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.