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Friday, May 11, 2018

HOW DO I LOVE THEE? LET ME COUNT 11 WAYS

Whether you're a fishducky

or a regular human being,
this post's for you:



Love is like a box of chocolates; there are a lot of ingredients. Surely I’m not blowing your minds when I tell you that more is at play in the game of love than just physical attraction or a shared passion for "Game of Thrones" and pizza rolls. According to one psychologist, there are 11 distinct factors that can leave you smitten. Despite what I said earlier, nothing about chocolate appears on the list.
Ayala Malach Pines, a faculty member at the School of Management at Ben Gurion University in Israel, is a clinical psychologist who studies couples. Pines authored around 60 research papers in her career, and a handful of relationship books, one of which is "Falling in Love: Why We Choose the Lovers We Choose." In this book, Pines breaks love down into 11 factors. So, why do we gravitate toward those certain charming weirdos we can't help but love? Here's what'll do it, according to Pines:

1.     Similarity in attitudes, background, personality traits. Whoever said opposites attract? (That would be Paula Abdul, but we digress.)
2.     Geographic proximity. Ever heard the phrase "near and dear to my heart?" Special emphasis on the "near" part.
3.   Desirable characteristics of personality and appearance. Tall, dark, and handsome. Oh, generous too.
4.     Reciprocal affection. Does your crush like you back? Stalkers aren't lovers, people.
5.     Satisfying needs. Missing satisfaction? Mick Jagger can tell you about that one.
6.     Physical and emotional arousal. These are the steamy waters beyond the Friend Zone.
7.     Social influences, norms, and the approval of people in our circle. To quote the Spice Girls, "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends."
8.     Specific cues in the beloved's voice, eyes, posture, way of moving. Are you tickled by the weird way your boyfriend dances to Journey at karaoke? Oh yeah, you've been lovebug bitten, alright.
9.     Readiness for a romantic relationship. One-night stands need not apply.
10. Opportunities to be alone together. For obvious reasons.
11. Mystery, in the situation or the person. A little enigma only makes things more interesting.
Feeling single and salty? Don't worry; I’m here for you, too. You can use the above points to track down a love interest, too. Because geographic proximity is a huge factor, for instance, hang out regularly in places where a potential date might also want to chill. And just keep going there. Repeated exposure increases our liking for basically everything, whether that be music, exotic foods, or certain people. It's a start. (Or just head to the best states for love.) Check out more of Pines' book here.
Must Be Love On The Brain
If you're not sure whether or not you can check off each item on that list, just hop in an MRI. Good ol' science here to save the day again. A 2015 study provided the "first empirical evidence of love-related alterations in brain functional architecture," meaning you could actually tell if someone is in love based on what their brain scan looks like. Romantic, isn't it?(Curiousity.com/Joanie Faletto)










So apparently RSVPing back to a wedding invitation "Maybe next time" isn't the correct response----fishducky

 



19 comments:

  1. Probably I should have read something like this before I got married the first two times.

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  2. I would sooner have root canal therapy and a pap smear (simultaneously) than another MRI.
    She left sight impairment out of that list. Looking around sometimes I am convinced that love IS blind.
    Great cartoons.

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  3. Mrs. C would crown me if I was cold and indifferent with anyone else!

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  4. Could have used this great advice before I married my ex. Number 1 would have nipped it in the bud.

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    Replies
    1. But I'm sure there is NO ONE like you!!

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  5. As you know, a lot of those things didn't fit us, but we made it and love prevailed.

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  6. The cold and indifferent with another woman made me choke on my coffee! I should know by now not to be sipping while I read your blog. ;)

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  7. Great post! Nope. Responding, "Maybe next time" to a wedding invitation isn't the best, but neither is a bride saying, "If it doesn't work, we'll get a divorce" while on the way to her wedding. One of my dear friends said just that, and sure enough, she got divorced. Three times.

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    1. You've got to believe that it's going to work!!

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  8. I met Hick at our apartment complex pool, and was attracted by his green eyes and hairy legs. Wouldn't you know it...neither of our boys got the green eyes. Genius has clear blue, like a Siberian Husky, and The Pony has hazel like mine. They DID get the hairy legs, though. And NOT from me!

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    Replies
    1. At least they inherited something!!

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  9. Those ingredients for love remind me of the many reasons I care for Willy Dunne Wooters.

    Love,
    Janie

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.