Q: HOW MANY DOCTORS DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHT BULB? A: THAT DEPENDS ON WHETHER IT HAS HEALTH INSURANCE.

Q: How many nihilists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: There is nothing to change.

Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. If the light bulb really needed changing, market forces would have already 

caused it to happen.



Q: How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. Why bother? It's just going to burn out again anyway.



Q: How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a light bulb? 

A: Eight. One to work the bulb and seven to make sure Microsoft gets $2 for every 

light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.



Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but she uses a hammer!!



Q: How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

A: That depends on the speed of the changer, and the mass of the bulb. Or vice 

versa, of course. Then again,  it just might be easier to leave the bulb alone 

and change the room. It's all relative.



Q: How many Dadaists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Three. One to change the light bulb, and two to fill the bathtub with 

brightly-colored machine parts.



Q: How many Marxists does it take to change a proletariat light bulb?

A: None. A proletariat light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.



Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.



Q: How many existentialists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes 

a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless 

absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.

(quora.com)

(Sorry, the following refused to be copied properly.)



Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?




A: Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely and

efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement: Whereas the
party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party of the
second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith
agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall
be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform
previously agreed upon duties, i. e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise
illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the
entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area,
demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at
the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the
aforementioned agreement between the parties.





The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the

following steps:




1.)The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his

option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of elevation,
grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the
second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being
non-negotiable.




2.)Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes

separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party
of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of
the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state,
local and federal statutes.




3.)Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part

(Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the
fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a
manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of
this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur
in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable.




Note:


The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the
first part (Lawyer), by any or all persons authorized by him, the objective
being to produce the most possible revenue for the party of the fifth part,
also known as "Partnership."

(reddit.com)

----fishducky