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Monday, August 6, 2018

THE RAVIN' (3rd Edition)



(An extensively reworked post from June, 2015.)

Click on any of the names in RED below to go directly to their post.




Once upon a midnight brightly, for I turned my lamp on nightly,
Trying to complete the latest issue of my post,
All at once I heard a moaning, it was my computer groaning,
If it were to die my blog would be but toast.

When it was I don’t remember--wait, it must have been December,
Yes!  Earlier that evening I had carved the Christmas roast.
We had sweet potatoes (yummy!) and they sat there in my tummy,
But a working computer was now of my needs the uppermost.

A spirit appeared on my screen, in a color sort of sea green,
The creature was so pale it must have been a ghost.
Forgive me if I’m ravin’, but this specter was so craven,
I had not the slightest wish to ever play his host.

He spoke in a voice so hollow, it was difficult to follow,
And said that he would take away the thing I loved the most.
“Not my computer!” I beseeched him, but my words just never reached him,
I said, “People want to read this,” but he ignored my boast.

I begged, even tried to buy him, but he wouldn’t listen to my lyin’,
He said, “You’re on a hilltop and downward you must coast.”
“Without my electronic sled, my butt would end up oh, so red
And the gravel would make me look like a piece of raisin toast!”

“No one needs your silly blogging—your brain just needs unclogging,
Your followers would fare better if with heroin they were dosed.”
“That may be, but my blogs are legal,” and I swooped in like an eagle,
And told him people like to read what makes them laugh the most.

“One more paragraph!” I pleaded, and ‘twas then that I proceeded
To tell him of a few blogs with which readers were engrossed.
“I know there's nothing spartan in the comics by MAN MARTIN
And CHERDO ON THE FLIPSIDE  is followed by a host.”

"If you want to read ELISA you don't need to get a visa, 
And her writing is more clever than at a Friar's roast.
BEING ME is just so funny it makes my eyes a little runny.
Don't take these from me--I'm pleading, ghost!"

“And CRANKY OLD MAN’s a winner, we just laughed it at dinner,
THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM is said to be the most.
There's SOUL COMFORT'S CORNER (written by Rita, not Jack Horner)
And PEARL, WHY YOU LITTLE  is a rare but favorite favorite post.”

"IHOPEIWINATOASTER is among the very moster
Clever things I've read lately, I tell you, ghost,
And ROB-BEAR 's a little furry, but he never makes me worry
When I have to wait a while between his posts."

“The world’s in need of laughter, and that’s why, ever after,
I hope we’ll all have MURRMURRS  here to post.
And then there's AL and ROBYN, and so many more my head is throbbin’,
For without laughter our jaws would be on the floor, almost.”

"I can't forget VAL THEVICTORIAN, who often puts two stories in,
MARGARET AND HELEN are enough to start me yellin’ when they post.
And also HALEY-ESZTI, whose work is among the besty.
Why would you dispose of LEENIE, I ask you, ghost?"

“I so liked HALEY'S COMIC, with humor quite atomic--
Can you ask her to write again, I beg you, ghost?
And JIMMY'S OPINION , how I miss you, (excuse me while I get a tissue)
I would love to see another issue of your post."

"LIFE AWAY FROM THE OFFICE CHAIR will never leave you in the air,
She'll teach you to crochet, for Pete's sake, ghost.
VINNY D's a doctor down in Haiti, treating cancer in the ladies,
The importance of his work is uppermost."

I THINK: THEREFORE, I YAM  deserves a deep salaam,
With so many blogs I’ve become engrossed.
There's JULI, JANICE, RAWKIN ROBYN and PATTI, to all of whom whom I tip my hatti, 
But if sanity's your thing, there's still a host.”

"If so, there’s a blog by RIVER, who never fails to deliver,
And ELEPHANT’S CHILD, both from an Aussie observation post.
On DEEMUNIR, and INGER, on whom I always linger,
And JANIE, who's the queen of grammar, ghost."

"Many people say that they enjoy LINDA KAY
And STEPHEN, who writes an art-related post.
RICK speaks highly of country life with his nephews and his wife,
I NEED my computer to read these and more and comment.  Oh, please, ghost."

For BODACIOUS BOOMER there's no link; she gave up her site, I think,
But I so miss chuckling at her post.
Bodacious, please don't scold me, for when we met you told me
You were writing a book which should please a host.

(If other blogs I failed to mention, it was not my intention, 
But I was under pressure, thanks to the ghost.
Please forgive me this neglecting, but as you've long been suspecting,
My brain is not the part I use the most!)

The specter then relented, and immediately consented
To repair my computer so I could write, sweet ghost.
He then called a tech, even spoke to India, but heck,
I couldn’t remember what it was I felt I had to post!






















I thought I'd end by actually quoting Poe, but then I thought, why should I?  He never quotes anything of mine----fishducky

 

12 comments:

  1. Wow. A HEAP of work (and cleverness) has gone into this post. I am honoured to be included. And recognise rather a lot of the bloggers mentioned.

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    1. Of course you were included, I LOVE your posts!!

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  2. Love Edgar Allen Poda :D
    I'll be back to check all those red letter links when I have some free time.

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  3. Thanks for the shout out. I just did a post with several links and it turned me grayer.
    Edgar Allen Typoe made me laugh as I also related.

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    Replies
    1. I just read your post & I loved it (as always)!!

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  4. Heeheehee! Several of these bloggers are my favorites, too.

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    1. You apparently have excellent taste!!

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  5. Loved this post and who needs a Poe quote when we have you.

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  6. Well done! Thanks for the mention. All Edgar Allan Pooh needs is a cask of Amontillado in place of that jar of Hunny. The tail pinned upon the wall is chilling.

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    Replies
    1. What? You've never heard of the game Pin the Tail on Eeyore?

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.