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Monday, December 10, 2018

CAUTION: WOMAN DRIVER


(A reworked post from 2013)


I reluctantly gave up my car & my driver's license last year (when I was 83) but I loved to drive!!  My first Mustang, which I think was a ’69, was the first car I had which my husband hadn’t driven for years prior to my driving it.  It was also the first car I had which (deliberately) could not hold a troop of Boy or Girl Scouts.  The government had a ban on manufacturing convertibles at that time because of safety concerns.  There were, however, no laws about making your own convertibles.  We had the car decapitated & a convertible top put on.  Once I was driving it about 4:00am on a virtually deserted freeway when I glanced at my speedometer.  I was going 105!!  I reluctantly slowed down.

My husband, Bud, drives slightly differently than I.  I have accused him of being a graduate of the HELEN KELLER SCHOOL OF DRIVING.  He is apparently more comfortable driving by Braille, because he is constantly on the Bott’s dots (the little reflective markers used to separate lanes) so he can feel his way along the road.  He used to travel occasionally for work.  When he was out of town, I would sometimes drive over the dots so I could pretend he was still home.

I could never understand why men doubt women’s ability to drive.  Once, when I was backing out of a parking space at Sears, a very simple thing to do, I noticed a man standing behind me, directing me & waving me on.  He said, “Plenty of room, lady!”  I wanted to kill him!!  If I had, I’m sure a jury (of women) would have found sufficient cause to set me free.

Another example:  I drove through a very narrow, twisty entryway into a crowded parking lot. The attendant told me they were full.  I asked him if there was someplace I could turn around & he told me there wasn’t--I would have to back out the way I came in.  I told him OK & put the car in reverse.  He started to give me a lesson on how to back my car out.  I leaned out the window & said, “No problem--I used to drive race cars for a living!”  A total lie, but who cares?

          Around 1975 we bought a condo on Maui.  A client of Bud’s gave us an old VW bus & had it shipped over.  My kids & I brush painted it Yellow Cab yellow & covered it with cartoon drawings.  (How often do kids get to paint pictures on a car with the owner’s permission?)  On the front it said, “Holo holo manu” (wandering around duck) & had my fishducky picture, wearing a lei, on it.  I was taking the kids from Kaanapali to Lahaina one day & stopped at a hotel to pick up a friend.  A lady approached & asked if this bus goes to Lahaina.  I told her it did.  She asked the cost & I told her it was a free shuttle.  I drove her to Lahaina.  She may still be there waiting for a ride back.  If you see her, tell her we went out of business.  











"Oh, & I suppose you've never scratched your car?"

I just found this in pinterest & had to put it in:






















That's my opinion & it's absolutely correct!!----fishducky


 





11 comments:

  1. I love the Fishducky bus. And, I had a feeling the Vette picture had a revenge tinge to it.

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  2. Heeheehee! Enjoyed the funnies, and how i envy you that bus!

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  3. What a cool fishducky bus!!
    Loved the "your girlfriend called" picture--ROFL!!
    Great post. :)

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  4. Wish you still had that bus. It was amazing. The last cartoon made me laugh for in Florida we swore the seniors only drove the front of thier cars, we were responsible for the back half.

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  5. Love your bus.
    Smiling broadly at the image after 'your girlfriend called'.

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  6. Dear Fishducky, oh, those final words--your girlfriend called!--read it and weep . . . over your demolished red convertible! Thanks for the laughter! Peace.

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  7. I really hope your "free shuttle" lady has gotten a ride by now. Nothing good happens after 4:00 a.m. over 105 mph.

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  8. P.S. your girlfriend called.
    That right there gets her off the hook.
    Aunty Acid reminds me of my first husband, Prince Leadfoot. He'd put his foot down, head for work and the rest of the traffic just fell into line behind us.

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.