Wednesday, July 4, 2018


I did this once, but I didn't break a window: 

For the best thing that I've ever done that you haven't, click here.

Here are some other things:

When we travel, we normally hire a driver; they usually speak English & they know the locals.  When we were in Milan we, of course, wanted to see the La Scala Opera House.  I think we were there for only a night or two & they were sold out.  Our driver said not to worry.  He said he knew someone who could help us.  We weren’t too interested in the performance; the Los Angeles Symphony was guesting there that week but we wanted to see inside the theater.  He drove us there & spoke to someone.  Next thing we knew we were seated up high in one of the box seats of La Scala, which was empty except for the two of us & a lone pianist rehearsing onstage.  The theater was beautiful & the acoustics were amazing!  We stayed about a half hour & then he drove us to the Santa Maria delle Grazie church, where we saw Da Vinci’s “The Last Supper”.  As I remember, it was a fresco, on an outside wall, in a sort of patio.  It was faded, but still beautiful. (I understand it has since been restored & is now in a sealed, climate controlled environment).

La Scala 

The Last Supper

I also touched the Pieta & the Liberty Bell
before they were encased in plastic!!

In 2000, we took our daughter, son-in-law & grandchildren to Washington, DC to see the 4th of July fireworks from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.  MAGNIFICENT!!  We toured Washington & then went on to Philadelphia where we met up with one of our sons & his wife & children.  We were standing in line to see the Liberty Bell.  (I touched it!  You weren’t supposed to, but I couldn’t help myself.)  Our 4 grandchildren were between 2 & 8 years old at the time & not very good at standing in line, so I was constantly carrying one or another of them on my shoulders.  When we got to the front of the line I asked my then 5 year old granddaughter how my hair looked.  I was kidding—I knew how bad my hair had to be after all those kids had their hands in it.  She looked at me & lovingly said, “It looks just like it always does, Grandma!”

Probably something like this,
but without the nose ring:

For Christmas, 1989, we decided to give each of our kids a car.  Previously, we had given a car to each set of our parents on their 50th wedding anniversaries.  (Ed. note:  Bud & I were seeing a shrink at the time.  We told him that we had given new cars to our parents & that they all told us we were crazy.  We asked him if he thought we were crazy.  He said, "Of course you're crazy!!  Can I have a new car?") 

We were going to do this but we didn't:

My husband is not impressed with new cars.  He kept his cars for a long time.  He is diligent
about maintenance.  When his car's 13th birthday was approaching, we thought it would be fun to throw a party.  Since we are Jewish, we thought a bar car mitzvah would be appropriate.  (Note to members of other tribes:  When a Jewish boy becomes 13 he is eligible to become a member of the Temple & to be regarded as an adult.  That’s why he says, “Today I am a man.”)  We had it all planned.  Since, at that time, many dealerships were failing it would have been no problem to rent an empty showroom for the night & park the freshly washed & waxed car in it.  I would make it a prayer shawl (size xxxxxxxxxx large) & a yarmulke (skullcap).  We would read passages from the owner’s manual.  Unfortunately, this never came to pass because some people in our family thought some of the prospective guests who were Orthodox Jews might feel we were insulting them.   I still think it was a great idea!!  It probably would have been covered by TV. 

He wasn't our car

We didn’t get on TV with the car, but my daughter & Bud’s mother once made $100.00 with a submission of an announcement they sent to the Reader’s Digest’s “Life in These United States”.   My husband had lost a great deal of weight & we sent our friends an engraved formal announcement.  It stated: “Frances Fischer is pleased to announce the loss of 100 pounds by her beloved husband, B. D. Fischer.”  Reader’s Digest liked it.  Western Union, not so much. Friends in Paris sent us a telegram which, by Western Union’s standards, couldn’t be read over the phone.  Maybe it was because it said, “Congratulations on the unexpected loss of your beloved.”  (Note: When someone tells me they recently lost their husband, I feel sorry for them, of course, but it‘s all I can do to keep from asking, “Well, think--where did you see him last?”)

The Casbah is in an old section of Algiers & is a marketplace.  We boarded a ferry in Spain, passed the Rock of Gibraltar & disembarked in Algeria.  Our tour driver stopped en route so that those of us who wanted to ride a camel could do so.  How could I pass up such an opportunity?  Camels are tall!!  When you are in the saddle, you’re about 6 or 7 feet off the ground.  For you to get in the saddle, the driver has the camel “sit”.  The camel puts his rump on the ground with his forelegs straight & his back at about a 45 degree angle.  I got on & the driver led the camel by the reins.  We were walking, with Bud beside us, when he turned to Bud, held his hand out & said, “You geeve me teep!!”  Bud is a very generous tipper, but he doesn’t like to be ordered to do it.  He said, “No.”  The driver started walking faster--& so did my camel--& I.  Again, “You geeve me teep!!”  Again, “No.”  Again, faster.  A couple more times of this & I leaned toward Bud & said, “You geeve heem teep!!”  He did.

This is not me—I just wanted to give
you an idea of how tall camels are.

 We once hosted a séance at the Magic Castle.  We invited five other couples for a total of twelve people.  We were seated at a large round table in a secluded room. The four or five course gourmet meal was prepared by a private chef & served by a private butler.  Delicious!  After dinner we were joined by a medium, who made us a group of thirteen. (A lot of spooky rapping, noises & other goings on then!)  We ended the séance by giving everyone watches that we had had made, below. 

They looked like this, but with a band.


We should start referring to age as Levels, because being at Level 83 sounds more badass than just being an old person----fishducky

Have a happy Fourth of July!!