Dogs can't do X-Rays... ...But Cats can. #NationalTellAJokeDay
And here are my two favorite jokes:
Sadie & Molly, two old friends who haven’t seen each other in years, meet on the street. Their conversation goes like this:
SADIE: Molly, it’s so good to see you again! How are you & your family?
MOLLY: I’m just fine, thank you. My husband retired & his company gave him a million dollar bonus. We’ve been travelling around the world!!
S: Fantastic!! And what about your son?
M: He became a doctor. He’s now Chief of Staff at Johns Hopkins.
S: Fantastic!! And your daughter, how’s she doing?
M: She married a lovely man. He’s rich, so they live in a mansion & she has a live-in staff to take care of her every whim.
M: But enough about me—what have you been doing?
S: I went to charm school.
M: You went to charm school? What did they teach you?
S: You know how I used to say “bullshit” all the time? They taught me to say “fantastic” instead!!
Poachers in Africa opened a restaurant. Their come on was: “We make sandwiches from any African animal!! If we can’t make your sandwich, we’ll pay you $10,000.00!!” Business was booming for months. They sold sandwiches made of ground zebra, lion pot roast, leg of hippo, etc. One day the waiter tries to place an order with the cook. Together, they sadly go to the manager & tell him that he’s going to have to pay the $10,000.00. He asks why & they tell him that a customer just ordered an elephant ball sandwich on rye. He tells them that’s no problem; a new shipment of elephant balls just came in. The cook says, “I know that!! The problem is, we’re out of rye bread!!”