How many editors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Too.
#NationalTellAJokeDay
#NationalTellAJokeDay Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar...
You can't tell me that's just a coincidence.
Why do Norwegian ships have barcodes on them?
So when they return to port they can Scandinavian.
#NationalTellAJokeDay
I joined a gym so that I could learn to do the splits.
The instructor asked, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't do Tuesdays and Thursdays."
#NationalTellaJokeDay
#NationalTellaJokeDay
A man was arrested and taken to an interrogation room
He says to the police officer “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present”
“You are the lawyer” says the policeman
“Exactly, so where’s my present?”
#NationalTellAJokeDay #StolenOffReddit
What was Beethoven's favourite fruit?
Ba-na-na-naaaaa! 
#NationalTellAJokeDay
#NationalTellAJokeDay
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm, and says “Pint please, and one for the road.”
#NationalTellAJokeDay
Do you know how to catch
a unique rabbit?
U nique up on him...
#NationalTellAJokeDay
Dogs can't do X-Rays...
...But Cats can.
#NationalTellAJokeDay
And here are my two favorite jokes:
Sadie & Molly, two old friends who haven’t seen each other in years, meet on the
street. Their conversation goes like this:
SADIE: Molly, it’s so good to see you again! How are you & your family?
MOLLY: I’m just fine, thank you. My husband retired & his company gave him a million
dollar bonus. We’ve been travelling around the world!!
S: Fantastic!! And what about your son?
M: He became a doctor. He’s now Chief of Staff at Johns Hopkins.
S: Fantastic!! And your daughter, how’s she doing?
M: She married a lovely man. He’s rich, so they live in a mansion & she has a live-in
staff to take care of her every whim.
S: Fantastic!!
M: But enough about me—what have you been doing?
S: I went to charm school.
M: You went to charm school? What did they teach you?
S: You know how I used to say “bullshit” all the time? They taught me to say “fantastic” instead!!
-------------------------------
Poachers in Africa opened a restaurant. Their come
on was: “We make sandwiches from any African
animal!! If we can’t make your sandwich, we’ll pay you $10,000.00!!” Business was
booming for months. They sold sandwiches made of ground zebra, lion pot
roast, leg of hippo, etc. One day the waiter tries to place an order with
the cook. Together, they sadly go to the manager & tell him that he’s
going to have to pay the $10,000.00. He asks why & they tell him that
a customer just ordered an elephant ball sandwich on rye. He tells them
that’s no problem; a new shipment of elephant balls just came in. The
cook says, “I know that!! The problem is, we’re out of rye bread!!”
