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Monday, November 12, 2018

THE DISTURBING AND GORY ORIGINS OF SOME BELOVED FAIRY TALES (& MY LIGHTENED UP VERSIONS)




(Versions other than mine I found on curiosity.com, written by Stephanie Bucklin.) 
Stephanie
Sure, Disney movies are full of cute talking animals, upbeat songs, & happily-ever-afters. But it's no secret that the fairy tales they're based on are often much darker, more violent, & more sinister. If you want to know what really happened in the original stories, I've got you covered.

CINDERELLA

Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm published their Cinderella tale in the 1800's. The Disney version of that fairy tale features a poor, beautiful young girl forced to serve her evil stepmother and two stepsisters. When a fairy godmother gives her a chance to attend the prince's ball, Cinderella makes a connection with the handsome prince. And since Cinderella accidentally left behind a glass slipper, the prince is able to test the shoe out on every woman in the kingdom until he finds that Cinderella is indeed his tiny-footed love connection.

In the Grimm brothers' version, things go a little differently: One of the stepsisters, unable to fit her foot in the glass slipper, cuts part of her heel right off. The other cuts off her big toe to make her foot fit, since "when you are queen you will no longer have to go on foot," Mommy dearest tells her. The bloody slippers give them away, & the prince then finds that Cinderella's foot is a perfect fit.

My Version:


Cinderella lived with her evil stepmother & two evil stepsisters.  She couldn’t go to the royal ball with them because she had no fancy clothes.  Her fairy godmother made her a ballgown & some glass slippers.  The slippers hurt her corns & she couldn’t wear them.  There was no way she could go to the dance barefoot, so she just stayed home.






SNOW WHITE & THE SEVEN DWARFS

In the Disney version, the princess Snow White flees her evil stepmother (sense a pattern?) & takes refuge in the home of seven dwarfs. These dwarfs protect Snow White & sing a few jaunty songs before the princess eats a poisoned apple, given to her by the evil queen. She's revived by a handsome prince, & they live happily ever after.
In the Grimm brothers' version, the huntsman who was supposed to kill Snow White kills a bear instead, & brings back its lungs & liver for the evil queen to eat — which she does, believing that she is feasting on Snow White's innards, & at the very end, the evil queen attends Snow White's wedding, where she is forced to put on iron-hot shoes & dance until she drops dead.

My version:


While wandering through the woods, a nubile young thing came across the house where seven dwarfs lived.  She asked them if she could stay if she cleaned the house, cooked & performed other services for them.  She serviced them all & to this day, Grumpy is no longer grumpy!!


BEAUTY & THE BEAST

In the Disney film, a very beautiful Belle rushes to save her father & is imprisoned in his stead by the very ugly Beast. After a little dancing & a pinch of Stockholm Syndrome, she falls in love, & the Beast's curse is broken, revealing the handsome prince that he was all along.
In Jeanne-Marie LePrince de Beaumont's version, Belle has a couple of ungrateful sisters, Gaston is nowhere to be found, and the Beast goes to melodramatically starve himself in his garden when he thinks Belle doesn't love him — though just as in the movie, he transforms into a prince a& all is well in the end.

My version:


One day a man became lost in a forest.  Seeking shelter, he came upon a dazzling palace & he entered & went to sleep.  The next morning as he was about to leave, he saw a rose garden & remembered that his daughter Belle had asked for a rose.  After picking the loveliest one he could find, the nerd was confronted by a hideous beast.  The beast told him that for taking the rose, he must die. The man begged to be set free, or at least to get a jury trial, arguing that even though roses were expensive, that price seemed way too high.   The beast agreed to let him give the rose to Belle, but only if the man would bring her back for a visit.   When they returned, the beast welcomed her & told her that if she stayed she would be mistress of the castle, & he would be her servant.  She decided he was too ugly for her, married Brad Pitt & adopted 37 children.






































AND A POEM :

JACK AND JILL

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
They each had a buck and a quarter.
They both fell down,
And I don’t know what happened,
But Jill came home with $2.50.



Doctors say that your attention span is like a muscle that can be strengthened. I didn't read the rest of the article because I saw a shiny thing----Conan O'Brien (& fishducky)