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Monday, March 25, 2019

MORE HAIKUS FOR YOUSE


Haikus are good for 
when you want people to think that
you are really smart.


(Reworked from some old posts.
Which ones?  I don't remember.
With all new cartoons.)

A haiku is a poem consisting of three lines.  The first line has five syllables, the second, seven & the third, five again.  The poems do not rhyme.  They are generally meant to convey a feeling or an emotion.  Following are too many some examples, which were stolen borrowed taken from too many places for me to remember so that I can give credit to their authors.  This first group I wrote:

These are MY haikus.
I think they are quite clever
But I may be wrong.

I make many errors
When using a typewriter.
Where is the Wite-Out?

If I shop online
My husband will never know
What a good idea

Baseball sometimes holds
Ten minutes of wild thrills in
A three hour game

"Duck!!" "Don’t shoot!!"  "Watch out!!"
"Batteries not included"
Words to dodge trouble

If life gives lemons
Add tequila, ice and make
A margarita

Middle of the night
I cannot open my eyes
But I need to pee

Poor hungry husband
Let's go to Jack in the Box
I have burned the roast

Oh, horrible day
I want to watch the game but
The cable is out


Painful childbirth
Screams "Get this thing out of me"
Like nine months before

Should I marry him?
He is quite rich, sick and old
How long could he last?

Show me you love me
Kiss my neck, my face, my soul
You’re such a good dog

Elephants are fat
But no one will criticize
So they don't diet


Even kids can write (or speak in) haikus:




Here are some more haikus, apparently written by computers (& some by me):

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
 

Everything is gone;
Your life's work has been destroyed.
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?
 

Windows Seven crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
 

A file that big?
It might have been useful.
But now it is gone.
 

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
 

This site has been moved.
We'd tell you where, but then we'd
Have to delete you.
 

Abort this effort:
Save and close all that you have.
You ask way too much.
 

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
 

With searching comes loss
And the terror of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
 

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.
 

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that
 

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
 

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
 

The ten thousand things,
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone.
 

Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message,
These words: "File not found."
 

Error message.  Damn!
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
 

No keyboard present
Hit F1 to continue
Zen engineering?



And some Redneck haikus:

Beauty naked in repose.
Silvery silhouette girls
Adorn my mudflaps.

Damn, in that tube top
You sometimes make me forget
You are my sister.

Remorse & sadness.
Can't fit big screen TV through
Double wide trailer's door.

Unemployment's gone.
Hey, maybe I can get on
Disability.

Distant siren screams.
Dumb ass Verne's been playing with
Gasoline again.

Tonight we hunger.
Gran sent grocery money
To Jimmy Swaggert.

















 

























Had perfect haiku
In mind.  Now it's forgotten.
Damn you, ADD!!
----fishducky


13 comments:

  1. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around writing a haiku. Your’s are funny.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you for some funny Haiku and now I think I finally understand the premise. Pretty sure I couldn't do it without using my fingers though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I counted each & every syllable several times!!

      Delete
  3. Haikus have always
    Been questionable to me
    Your post was good though

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so glad that you
      Liked my meager attempts at
      Writing funny ones!!

      Delete
  4. I wonder if they would make more sense in Japanese or maybe to the Japanese. There's something about them though, that's sort of appealing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 私は俳句を書くのが好きです (I like to write haikus.)

      Delete
  5. Only way to save
    All work all of the time is
    Email it to self.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That would work only
      If you never accidentally
      Deleted one, right?

      Delete
  6. My older son wrote Haikus in high school and his teacher thought they were wonderful. To me they're as weird as any other poetry. I have them somewhere, in a folder, in a suitcase. I'm not going looking for them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you find ALL poetry weird? You're missing some good stuff!!

      Delete
    2. mostly the long-winded literary styles I just don't get, although there is a lot of the other stuff I don't understand either. Simple poetry that says what it means is easier and rhyming is good too.

      Delete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.