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Monday, April 22, 2019

I NEED SOME ANSWERS, PLEASE


(This accidentally got posted on 1/29 before it was anywhere near ready.)


Some questions have been bothering me lately.  Can you answer them for me, please?
(Some of these are mine & some I found at chartcons.com.)


What is the speed of dark?

If they sell dresses in a dress shop & candy in a candy shop, why don't they sell butchers in a butcher shop?

Dairy farmers raise cows.  How do they know how deep to plant them?

Same question for people who raise chickens.  How deep does the egg go?

All elephants are grey.  Why aren't there any with a sense of style?

Are venetian blinds really made by blind Venetians?

For the pen to be mightier than the sword, wouldn't it have to be a really big pen with a very sharp point?

When I thank you for something, why do you tell me "no problem"?  Would you not have done it if there was a problem?

Why don’t black guys get white tattoos?

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you’re just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?

Why is the word “hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia” meaning a fear of long words so long?

If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

When you perform a head count, do Siamese twins count as one or two?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

Why do they call it “getting your dog fixed” if afterwards it doesn’t work anymore?

How do you remove a club soda stain?

How long do fish wait to swim after they eat?

Have you ever actually signed on a dotted line?

Exactly how happy are clams?



















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----fishducky


 




11 comments:

  1. No answers but good questions, can I add how do they know which cows have chocolate milk and which have strawberry milk or banana milk

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    Replies
    1. the brown cows have chocolate milk, the red cows have the strawberry milk and the cream coloured cows have the banana milk. White cows give plain milk, cows that have been standing in the snow give ice cream (frozen milk)

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  2. Excellent questions, for which I have no answers. And why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

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  3. Dark must be a little faster than the speed of light.

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  4. I don't know those answers. It's like how you buy a new wastebasket and they put it in a bag, then you take it home and put the bag in the wastebasket. (Stole that from George Carlin, if I remember right.)

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  5. I don't know those answers either. Suddenly I don't feel so smart (*~*)

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  6. Still pondering the speed of dark. Haven't thought of it, now it is all I am thinking about. Thanks.

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  7. Dear Fishducky, ah, you are the eternal curious philosopher! Peace.

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  8. Hummm...never thought about it before but why have I always thought of dark as not moving...so many questions and not enough answers--LOL!

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  9. Siamese twins count as two heads unless they share a brain.

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.