Monday, April 1, 2019


In Key West, Florida, locals know how to keep life exciting all the way to the end. In the island's one-of-a-kind cemetery, the humorous last words of Key West eccentrics leave their marks.
History Is Alive Among the Dead
In 1847, after a hurricane washed away the island's original graveyard, the current Key West cemetery was built in its place. Due to the city's high water table, most of the graves were placed above ground, similar to those in New Orleans . Although it was originally designed to hold only 15,000 people, the Key West cemetery today contains a whopping 80,000 to 100,000 graves and is one of the island's most popular tourist attractions.
Tombs of well-known residents like “Sloppy” Joe Russell, a local bar owner, and William “Bill Money” Curry, millionaire shipping magnate, along with a section dedicated to those who died in the Cuban revolution, all represent Key West's unique past and heritage. But despite the immeasurable history kept alive by these notable graves, the ones that seem to attract most visitors are those that evoke Key West's particularly quirky sense of humor.
Take It to the Grave
According to tour guides, the most popular of these amusing headstones is that of local hypochondriac (and quite possibly comedic genius) BP "Pearl" Roberts. Her famous epitaph comically quips, "I Told You I Was Sick."
Another hilarious and well-known epitaph is that of Key West local Georgio Aversa who died in 2008. His wife chose to memorialize Georgio's life through comedy with the line, “Jesus Christ These People Are Horrible”, something she says Georgio exclaimed about 20 times per day. If you want a peek at Georgio's memory, you'll have to crane your neck, as it's 10 feet in the air atop a recently built mausoleum.
Other notably witty epitaphs include literary references (appropriate for an island that boasts more writers than anywhere in the U.S.) like, "So Long and Thanks for All the Fish," a line from Douglas Adams's "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." While others like "I'm Just Resting My Eyes," "I've Always Dreamed of Owning a Small Place in Key West," "Devoted Fan of Singer Julio Iglesias," and "If You're Reading This You Desperately Need a Hobby," are just a few famous last words that prove residents of Key West don't take life (or death) too seriously.
Guided tours of the cemetery are available on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 9:30 a.m. through the Historic Florida Keys Foundation. Reservations are required.
(Adapted from curiosity.com/Ashley Gabriel)

When (& if) I die, I don’t want a conventional funeral, with everyone being sad.  Instead, I want fireworks to celebrate my life!  I told my husband & he said fireworks weren’t his thing.  I said they were my thing.  He offered a compromise; he said he would stick a sparkler in my behind.  Somehow, I didn’t feel that would be the same thing.  What do you think?




  1. One of the best funerals I went to had an alpaca greeting the mourners. I think we all smiled.
    And if you want fireworks you have them. Big ones.

  2. Mine will read "And I just figured out how to cure my slice!"

  3. Thanks for the trip to the Keys. I am the only one in my family for 8 generations not born in Key West. They were heading back, I was just a little anxious and popped out in Ohio. William Curry was my multiple great grandfather on my mother's side. We use to go regularly to clean up around our families graves. That is a fun cemetery.

    1. "Multiple" great grandfather? Inbreeding?

    2. Naw, just a lot of greats, it was long ago. I think great, great, great, great, grandfather.

  4. I LOVE that cemetery!!!

    The joke that nearly had me choke on my coffee (yes, I know--I know--I shouldn't try to drink my coffee and read your posts at the same time) was the lady who lost her teeth--OMG!! Served her right! ROFL!!

    I say--have them light 'em up, Lady!! So does that mean you will have a nighttime funeral? That's unique in itself. ;)

  5. Grandma has left specific instructions. We are to make sure she is fully dressed, because her mother taught her that a real lady never goes anywhere without her undies and socks on.

    Also, we are to put a note above the casket that says, "The deceased wanted everyone to know that you are not to stand around saying how good she looks. She wants you to know that she does not look good, she looks dead!"

  6. I like the idea of Fun in a Funeral, but I don't think a sparkler in the behind will do it. I think a whole ginormous fireworks display is a good send off.
    I don't give much thought to my funeral, since I'm leaving my body to a teaching hospital, there probably won't be one. I do know I don't want people to miss me, well, not too much anyway.

    1. So you're a member of the "No Sparklers in Fran's Butt Club"?

  7. I have always liked the fireworks idea.

  8. Now I want to go to Key West for a whole other reason! Hilarious.


Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.