Friday, January 25, 2019


Bud had an older sister, Jackie.  I wrote a post about her a couple of days ago.  Natalie is Bud's little sister.  She's only a little younger than me.  Her birthday is November 12 & mine is September 27.  We were born the same year, so you can see she's just a baby. An 84 year old baby!!

Whenever Nat got pregnant, she'd call & let us know.  Somehow, I got pregnant about two months after that.  (I know how I got pregnant.  I just mean the timing was strange.)  We each have three kids about three months apart.  We saw the same obstetrician.  We would go to our appointments together, get checked & weighed & then go out for a hot fudge sundae.  We figured we'd have time to lose the weight before our next appointments.

When we first bought our condo on Maui Natalie & her three kids came out to stay with us & our three kids.  I don’t know if you’re familiar with Hawaiian prices, but our grocery bill was enormous!  Nat was going over the grocery shopping list that Bud had made & saw either “ice cream” or “candy”, I don't remember which.  We loved when she said, in all seriousness, “Don’t buy that, the kids will just eat it!”

Nat came back from a long day at the beach.  (She denies it, but Bud & I have seen her tanning her armpits & spreading her belly button open so it would get tan inside.)  She told us she had met the “nicest” couple on the beach, who also had a condo in our complex, & that we should go down the next day to meet them.  Natalie, who was at that time a bit of a prude but has since become a slut lovely modern lady, said, “I think they’re married, but I’m not sure.  It doesn’t matter, but I think they are married.  But I’m not sure.  But I think so.  But I’m not sure.”  I, of course, said, “Nat, if you want to know, I’ll ask them.”

Bud & I went to the beach the next day & met Jack & Jane.  Nat was right--they were very nice.  After visiting for a while, I said to Jane, “I want to ask you something that is absolutely none of my business.  I won’t be insulted if you don’t want to answer.  Actually, it’s my sister-in-law that wants to know.  Are you & Jack married?”  She laughed & said, “Oh, my God, NO!!”

(Some asides on Jack & Jane.)  Jack & Jane ran their air conditioning constantly & it apparently couldn’t handle the stress.  One day Jack came out of the condo & said to Jane, “I didn’t even know you’d planted a crop, but it’s ready for harvest.”  Moisture must have been running out of the A/C vent because there were actual mushrooms growing in the carpet just below it.

Jane was an heiress of some sort & had beaucoup dollars.  One day she had a problem & asked for my attorney/accountant husband’s help in solving it.  She told him she had just received a disturbing letter from her bank.  To quote her precisely, “The bank said I’m UNDERDEPOSITED!”  It’s just that we’d never heard it phrased quite that way before.

They lived in Salt Lake City & though she was not a Mormon, she was obviously less than familiar with Jews & Jewish food.  She came to Los Angeles on business & I took her to Junior’s Delicatessen for lunch.  Our waitress served a bowl of chicken soup to the lady sitting in the next booth.  It contained a very large matzo ball.  Jane asked me, in all seriousness, “Why does that lady have a tennis ball in her soup?”

Back to Natalie: Her husband fooled around while Nat & the girls were in Hawaii & they subsequently got a divorce.  A couple of years later Nat started dating again.  She went with Dick for a few years, until he insisted on getting married.  She had had enough of marriage & they broke up.  She & her ex-husband are now the best of friends.  They go out to dinner & to plays together.  They even travel together, but just as friends.

Nat & Bud got together about once a month for the past year or so.  They would go out to lunch & then play gin rummy.  I won't say that it's a very high stakes game but as much as $5.00 has changed hands.

Carol Wyer's new book THE DARE
will be out in April.
Watch for it!!