It's fairy tale week again (reworked from my book, "Fishducky's Fables") with new cartoons!!
(I understand someone wrote a story about three little pigs but I haven't been able to locate it.)
Once
upon a time there were four little pigs & the time came for them to leave
home & seek their fortunes. Their mother packed them each a lunchbox
full of peanut butter & slop sandwiches (their favorite), some carrot
sticks, an apple & a can of V8 juice, because she was very much into
healthy eating. She gave them each a kiss & told them, “Be sure to
buy some land & build a sturdy house, because that will keep you safe &
warm for the rest of your lives. Keep in touch with me & your dad &
be sure to write if you find work. Adieu, mes infants!” (She
came from a family of Porc Gascons, a French breed, & wanted everybody to
know it.)
The
first little pig bought some land but paid so much for it that the money he
had left to spend on building materials was only enough for straw. He had
just finished building his house when there was a knock at the door. “Who
is it?” he asked. “Avon calling,” was the reply. “No, thank
you. I don’t need anything,” he said. The caller, who was really a
wolf, said, “Let me in or I’ll huff & I’ll puff & I’ll blow your house
down!” The pig told him, “Not by the hair on Kim Kardashian's chin, but I
bet she could use one of your depilatories!” A couple of huffs &
three puffs later, down came the house & the pig was eaten.
A few
days later, the wolf was hungry again. He came upon a house of sticks,
which was built by the second little pig. “Sticks,” he thought, “No
problem!” Still, he knocked first, because that was easier. “Who is
it?” asked the pig. “Vacuum cleaner salesman,” said the wolf. “We
have a special offer today.” “No, thank you,” the pig said. “I’m a
pig & I like it when things are dirty.” The wolf threatened, “Let me
in or I’ll huff & I’ll puff & I’ll blow your house down!” The pig
didn’t, but the wolf did. This time it took four huffs & seven puffs,
but down came the house & the pig was eaten.
The
third little pig built his house of bricks, because everybody knows that a wolf
can’t blow a brick house down. He invited his mother & father over
for dinner. After a lovely meal, his mother asked, “Do you know how your
brothers are doing? I haven’t heard from them & their cell phones
aren’t working. I think their batteries must be dead.” “That’s not
the only thing that’s dead, Maman.” (Remember, she was French
& that’s what they had always called her.) He then told her the sad
fate of the first two pigs.
Just
then there was a knock at the door--that’s right, it was the wolf again.
“Who’s there?” asked the third little pig. The wolf said, “I’m collecting
for the homeless shelter. Please help your fellow citizens.” The
pig said, “I gave at the office.” The wolf said, “Let me in or I’ll huff &
I’ll puff & I’ll blow your house down!” “Go ahead & try,” said
the pig. “Even with halitosis as bad as yours, one wolf can’t blow down
this house of bricks!” The wolf thought about it & decided the pig was
right, so he went home & returned with his entire pack. It took
several huffs & more than a few puffs, but down came the house & the
pig (& his mother & father) were eaten.
The
fourth little pig instigated murder charges against the wolves, who were
convicted & executed after many years of appeals. He bought a condo
in a gated community in Florida & lived happily ever after.
The original cartoons:
And the new ones:
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?----fishducky
