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Monday, March 4, 2019

NEW OLD SAYINGS


(Reworked from a 2013 post with new cartoons.)

There are many old sayings which we have accepted as true.  However, I believe that to stay true they have to be adjusted--to be brought up to date.  So I did:

Familiarity breeds contempt children.

Don't sweat the petty things & don't pet the sweaty things.

I think, therefore I am doubt, therefore I might be.

No news is good news not very interesting.

What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger extremely nervous.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush will make a big mess.

A penny saved is a penny earned not much.

The older you get, the better you are realize you were. 

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink a bar but you can't  make him pick up the check.

Marry in haste, repent in leisure divorce court.

Keep your nose to the grindstone & you can avoid rhinoplasty.

Walls have ears & potatoes have eyes.

The leopard does not change his spots underwear.

Variety is the spice of life, but chili needs cumin.

People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones while they're inside the house.

The early bird catches the worm, but the lazy worms get to safely sleep in .

The squeaky wheel gets the grease WD40.

Never look a gift horse in the mouth or the other end.

When the going gets tough the tough get going go shopping.

Blood is thicker than water, so never use it to thin out your soup.

Two heads are better than one unless they're on the same person.

Charity begins at home, except for yard sales.

A man's house is his castle & there are alligators in my moat.

Any port in a storm--or cabernet or riesling.

Cold hands, warm heart--cold feet, different bed.

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you before they do unto you.

Nothing lasts forever except taxes.

One hand washes the other dishes.

The best things in life are free on Ebay.

Change is inevitable, unless nothing happens.

Everything comes to those who wait order online.

Nothing is certain except death & taxes shipping & handling.

The camera doesn't lie, except when you use Photoshop.

Confession is good for the soul & the Catholic Church.

You win some, you lose some--it doesn't necessarily even out.

History repeats itself, itself, itself...

A miss is as good as a mile mister.

You are what you eat & today I'm a pastrami sandwich.






The new cartoons:














I would explain what I wrote but your brain would explode----fishducky