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Friday, January 18, 2019

MORE OPTICAL DELUSIONS

Yes, I know they are called optical illusions & not delusions,
but that's what Nameless called them growing up &
I think it's a better description!!


These lines are not moving.

Nor are  these.


                                         
The horizontal lines are straight:

Where are the dots going?



This pinwheel is not turning.



In the 2 illusions above, the center (only) seems to move as you move your head.

Can you read this?




The stuff in the blue dots will move.

They don't.

These lines are not pulsating.


There's someone in there.

Even animals are fooled!!

This is my favorite.
This one has a couple of different cool things.  
First, if you follow the pink dot moving, the dots will remain pink, 
but if you stare at the plus sign in the center, the rotating dot will turn green. 


Want to see a woman turn herself into a puppet?  Click below:
https://biggeekdad.com/2017/01/wooden-puppet-doll-optical-illusion/



                                         





















----fishducky


 






Wednesday, January 16, 2019

NO CHILDREN WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF THIS POST




Thank you for giving me this opportunity to brag tell you about my daughter, Nameless.  I can do that without fear of editing hurting your feelings since this is my post.  Nameless almost had her own career in show biz, like her mother.  She was a month or two old when she was selected to portray a baby (type casting) in “Bonanza” but she was too young to be covered by their insurance.  In the 1935 movie “Carnival” I was the adorable baby that Lucille Ball (in the uncredited role of a nurse) held in her arms while everybody went “AAWWW!”  That was my entire career.  I believe Lucille Ball went further.

First, I should tell you what (I believe) made Nameless the genius that she is today.  When she was a few months old, I accidentally dropped her on her head.  (TRUE)  I believe this shook her brains into proper alignment.  She is at MENSA level, & do you know, she hasn’t thanked me to this day!  She began talking very early--& hasn’t stopped yet.  When she was 13 months old, my husband took her to a family Thanksgiving dinner while I stayed home sick in bed.  I was watching a TV show about children learning to talk & I started making a list of all the words Nameless knew.  I got to 100 when I realized I could probably double that.  True, she couldn’t pronounce all of them correctly--chicken noodle soup was “hickey noonoo hoop”--but she was quite verbal.

Words were like toys to her.  She loved them.  We had this routine; I would ask her these questions & she’d answer.  When she was 2, we went to the pediatrician & did our routine for the nurse:  “What do you call a doctor who takes care of children?”  “Pediatrician.”  “Who’s the doctor that takes care of animals?”  “Veterinarian.”  “Who’s the scientist who knows all about fish?”  “Ichthyologist.”  When the doctor came in, the nurse asked Nameless the questions so he could hear her answers.  He grabbed her up & ran out of the room.  When he returned I asked him where he had taken her--& why.  He told me that his friend (another pediatrician) was waiting in his office to go to lunch with him.  He took Nameless through her routine & then said to the other doctor, “See what MY patients can do!!”

When Nameless was about 3, she wanted to learn to read.  In fact, she insisted on it!!  I didn't know how to teach her so I called UCLA & hired a tutor through them.  She loved her tutor & the lessons & by kindergarten she was reading at about a fourth grade level.  She became a voracious reader & to this day she still is.

The one time I wished she weren't so smart:  She was just under 2, I think.  She was in the car with me & we were driving through Beverly Hills.  I drove through an amber light & was pulled over by a cop.  He said I had run a red light.  I said, "No, I didn't; it was amber."  She piped up from the backseat, "Yes, you did, Mommy.  It was red!!"  The policeman believed her & I got the ticket.  I wonder if this was payback for dropping her on her head?

Nameless must have been about 6 or 7 when she was helping me clear the table after dinner.  She saw me slide the crumbs off the table with one hand & catch them in the other hand.  She slid the crumbs off her side of the table with one hand.  I guess she didn't see my other hand, under the table, catching the crumbs.  She slid her crumbs right onto the floor.

One more quick story about our pediatrician:  When he was checking our second child, Matt, right after his birth, he was looking at his fingers & toes & I heard him counting softly, 1,2,3,4,5, 1,2,3,4,5, etc.  I asked him why he was doing that.  He said that a few months before he was checking another newborn & counted 1,2,3,4,5, 1,2,3,4,5, 1,2,3,4,5, 1,2,3,4,5,6!!  He counted again; no mistake.  The child had 6 toes on his left foot.  He hesitantly told the mother, who laughed & said, “Isn’t that cute, just like his daddy!!”
















Sometimes I feel like my life is a foreign film with no subtitles.  I just keep nodding, smiling & thinking WTF----fishducky



 




Monday, January 14, 2019

MY HUSBAND REALLY KNEW HOW TO THROW A PARTY!!



(Reworked from a 2013 post.)

For my 60th birthday, & again on my 65th, my husband invited a bunch of my friends to celebrate with us.  Not at our home, though, or even at a rented hall--he flew all of us for two days & one night in Las Vegas!!

The first party actually started the evening before my birthday when eight of my closest women friends came to our house.  We all went to a local deli for dinner.  We came home to a pajama party.  We were on couches, in beds & sleeping bags.  The next morning we had a continental breakfast & finished up the deli leftovers.  Bud gave them $100.00 (each) for a gambling stake.

The limousines (what else?) came & picked us up & took us to the airport where we boarded the plane for a forty-five minute flight to Vegas.  I can't remember which hotel we stayed at, but it was one of the big fancy ones.  We left  our bags at the bell desk & went to lunch.  One of the ladies played keno during lunch & won a couple of hundred dollars, which set the tone for our stay.  (I think we all came home winners--I do remember Bud trying to get me to board the plane home while I was getting my jackpot payment out of an airport slot machine.)

We had a great lunch & then got into a super-stretch limo & went casino hopping. Then back to our hotel, where we had five rooms for the ten of us, a quick shower, a gourmet dinner & gambling 'til we couldn't keep our eyes open.  During part of the evening there were several of us at a 21 table, where I acted as instructor for the novices in my group. Later we hit the slot machines, where one of my friends insisted on doubling up with me. One of us would put in the coins while the other pulled the arm.  We won there, too!

AND, as icing on the cake, my son, Blake, & his then wife, Diane, surprised me & showed up for dinner with us at the second party!!

Blake & DI gave me this, which they bought in the hotel,
because it looked just like me, bare feet, smock & all:

It now lives on the bottom shelf in an alcove in our living room 
with other little ducks that I've collected as souvenirs 
while travelling around the world:

We came back home around lunchtime.  It was one of the BEST birthdays I ever had. It was so much fun that Bud did it again for my 65!!   

The 2nd party--my 65th birthday

To have fun at a party, it's important that your guests BE fun and/or lovable.  I've told some of these stories before, but now you can identify them with a face:

BARBARA: She & I were playing golf when I slipped & broke my left wrist.  After finally convincing her that my wrist really hurt & that it wasn’t that I wanted to quit because I was playing poorly, she drove me to the ER.  She was in the room with me when the doctor told me I’d have to remove my engagement & wedding rings because my hand would swell up.  I took them off & handed them to Barb who tearfully said, “You’ve been promising me these rings forever & you had to break your wrist for me to get them!”  The look that passed between the doctor & the nurse was priceless!

YOLANDA: Not too funny, but VERY sweet.  She was the bookkeeper in Bud's office.  At one time, she had a crush on my youngest son.  At another time, he had a crush on her.  If their timing had been better, I could have been her mother-in-law.

ME & BUD: It’s not often that my husband out-funnies me, but I have to give credit where credit is due.  At the reception after our daughter's wedding I made a toast to the newlyweds: “May you both be as happy in your marriage as my husband is in ours!”  Everybody laughed.  Then Bud made his toast: “May you both be as happy in your marriage as my wife THINKS I am in ours!”

BONNIE: A while after we bought our beach house in Port Hueneme, CA, my next door neighbor, Bonnie, moved in with her husband from a few blocks away.  She was from Kentucky & as “down home” & unspoiled as you can get.  A month or so after she moved in we were all invited to a semi-formal dinner to honor the new commander of the Naval Base.  We asked her what “semi-formal” meant in this small town.  Her answer: “Deodorant OR perfume!”

One more "Bonnie-ism": We were playing golf behind a very slow group of men.  She exasperatedly asked me why it is that men will spend 10 minutes looking for a lost ball, but they won’t take 5 seconds to find your “G spot”!

CHARLENE: She’s the original “earth mother”.  Twenty plus years ago I was called for jury duty.  While there I slipped on the marble floor & broke my left thumb.  (Note: I am not always breaking bones, although it might sound that way.)  It was in a splint & I couldn’t put on a necklace or button my right cuff.  Bud left for work before I got up, so I asked another prospective juror (her) to help me by holding out my right arm & saying, "Please dress me, Mommy!"  She did, & we clicked.  We became the best of friends--& still are.

PATRICIA: Again, not funny, but again, a sweetheart.

BERNICE: Her husband had Alzheimer’s & had become very argumentative.  He had become nearly impossible to live with.  Shortly after his death she & I were marketing together.  We were at the meat counter.  She told me she was buying a steak for dinner.  She said that she had had steak the previous night, but she felt like having steak again & now that she only had herself to be concerned about, she could have whatever she wanted.  Bernice looked at me & said, “There MUST be a downside to being a widow, but so far I haven’t found what it is!”

NATALIE: Bud's sister.  Read about her in a future post.

BOB:  One of the nicest & most patient men you could ever meet.  (He'd HAVE to be to stay married to Barbara for so long!)

THE COUPLE AT THE TABLE IN BACK:  I have no idea.


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The original cartoons:









The new cartoons:














Thank you SO much, Bud--I had a nice time at your parties!!----fishducky