I wonder how spoken language began. After all, when the first man spoke the first word, no one could understand him. Sort of like today’s teenagers, when they’re talking to an adult. I guess if you hear “Schlemmerpop!” enough times you eventually realize it means, “Holy crap! That fire is hot! Don’t touch it—you’ll burn yourself!!” While I’m on the subject of language, have you noticed how little kids like to say “actually”?
If God did not want us to eat
animals, why did He give us the ability to make barbecue sauce? Speaking of animals, will the ones who are
strict vegetarians only eat vegetarians?
The first Thanksgiving after Bud’s
sister died we flew to Texas to spend the holiday with his other sister &
her family. She wasn’t expecting us so
we brought our own turkey. It was
uncooked, in a gym bag with Blue Ice. We
knew she’d appreciate having family with her & we thought it would be a
good opportunity for our kids to learn to speak Texan. During that trip, they mastered the word
“bycon” (see image below) & the phrase “Shee-it, howdy!”.
I’ve only been really drunk twice in
my life. The first time, Bud was driving
the babysitter home while I was trying to navigate my way down our long hall to
our bedroom. I really appreciated that
the hall was narrow, because when I tipped form side to side, I could put my
hand against the wall for support so I wouldn't tip over. (Do
you suppose this is where the word “tipsy” comes from?) The other time was when the office gave us a
bon voyage party. We were leaving on a
vacation the next day. Irene, one of the
secretaries, was kind enough to come home with us. I sat on the edge of the dresser while she
packed for me. They said I had a very
good time at the party.
The only time one of my sons got
smashed at a bar, he passed out. His
friends (?) took his wallet & put him in a cab. They gave the driver instructions to go to
God knows where. When they got there,
the driver woke him up & asked for his fare. No wallet = no money = no fare. The driver gave him another ride, free—to
jail. He learned never to drink that
much again & also, I believe, to get new friends. My other son got thoroughly soused (once)
when he was a teenager. He was a
passenger in a car that was going probably 100 mph on the freeway & they
rear-ended another car. No injuries,
thank heaven, but he also ended up in jail.
Jail is apparently a great teacher.
That reminds me, I tried pot
once. Didn’t like it. It was a weird feeling. I knew what was going on & I could
understand everything that was said to me.
Moving my hands was another story.
My main problem, though, was that I had absolutely no memory of the last
30 seconds. If you asked me a question,
you’d just have to wait for an answer.
You realize, don’t, you that just
because you have an inferiority complex doesn’t mean you AREN’T inferior?
My husband believes there are
exactly three kinds of drivers on the road: idiots, maniacs & him. If someone is in front of him & going too
slowly, he’s an idiot, as in “Get out of the way, you idiot!” Maniacs are the ones who cut you off to get
into your freeway lane or speed past you at 500 miles per hour. And then there’s him.
The genes for male pattern baldness
are believed to be carried by the mother.
I guess that means that if your mother is bald, you probably will be,
too!
I have been to, among other metropolises
metropoli busy cities, Bangkok, Hong Kong, Tokyo, Singapore, New Orleans,
Washington DC, London, Geneva, Rome & Paris. I loved them all. When I’m in New York, however, I feel like a
hick. I think it’s because there are so
many tall buildings so close together you can’t see the sky unless you look
straight up. I get a sort of
claustrophobic feeling. We’re going
there again next year when our granddaughter graduates from Georgetown. (Does anyone else feel that way?)
Yesterday was my birthday. I was born 78 years ago & I'm 36 years old. Isn't life amazing?
I hope you enjoyed this trip into
my mind. Be careful, it’s dark in there,
with lots of twists & turns. You
could easily get lost!----fishducky
