I’ve
found a solution to my major problem, & to think it came from that smartass
know-it-all genius Bart Simpson.
Even a used brain would be fine, but I don’t have access to pathology
labs. Can anyone help me? Here’s all we would have to do:
Or
maybe I don’t really need one.
He seems fine:
I
was taking my shower this morning & I got to wondering (now you see why I
want that brain) if everybody washes their body in the same order or is it just
me? I got in the shower, took my sponge
in my left hand & washed the entire right side of my upper body. (I’m left handed so I always wash my right
side first.) Then I switched the sponge
to my right hand & washed my upper left side. Back it went into my left hand & I washed
my right leg, then back again for my left leg.
Am I the only one who does this—which wouldn’t surprise me—or do normal
people have a set routine for bathing, too?
Speaking
of wanting and/or needing a brain, my father’s lady friend, Dorothy, was not
the brightest light in the chandelier. She
& my dad were with us when we took the entire family on an Alaskan cruise. On the cruise with us, but NOT as our guests,
were Lady Bird Johnson, (the widow of President Lyndon Johnson) & her
contingent of Secret Service agents.
Prior to setting off, everyone had to attend the lifeboat drill. We were standing next to Mrs. Johnson during
the drill. Her face was apparently
familiar to Dorothy, who turned to her & said, “I KNOW you from somewhere! Are you a customer at Steve’s Beauty Salon in
Hollywood?” Mrs. Johnson sweetly
replied, “No, dear—I’m from Texas!”
This
is the patch we had made
& put on jackets & caps:
Another
example of someone who could use a brain insertion: My dad used to work in my
uncle’s grocery store. One day a man
came in & asked for half & half.
Nothing odd about that, right?
WRONG! He pronounced it “HAFF
& HOFF”! Maybe he had ONE British parent.
And
someone I WISHED had a brain (& a heart): Bud & I ran the local Cub
Scout pack. At an assembly in the school
auditorium we asked each boy’s parents to register & to tell us what they
could do to help. The attorney father of
one boy wrote on his slip, “Can’t help.
Work full time.” Our boys were
then 8 years old—nobody we knew was yet retired! He refused to even give us his phone
number in case of an emergency. His
son was in my den. We held our meetings
in the evening. One evening it was pouring
rain—much too heavy for the boys to come over.
We called everyone but him to cancel.
His dad buzzed by & dropped him off before I could catch him. His son had to call him for a ride home. Later that evening I got a call from his
father, who was irate. He yelled at me
for making him go out twice in the storm when there wasn’t even a meeting that
night! How inconsiderate of me!!
This is my great niece's cat, Butter, & her brother's post.
I think it's pretty funny--check it out:
"I know there is a dog on the logo but the beer is just so damn good!"
One
thing I CAN do very well without a brain is procrastinate. I’ve always been a procrastinator. My mother claims I didn’t get a birthmark
until I was 6 years old----fishducky
