Need a laugh? Want to kill your appetite? Read this post!!
A little old man shuffled
slowly into an ice cream parlor & pulled himself slowly, painfully, up
onto a stool.
After catching his breath
he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked,
"Crushed nuts?"
“No," he replied,
"arthritis".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I took my wife to a
restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took
my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Diner: Waitress, how long have you been working here?
Waitress: Six months, sir.
Waitress: Six months, sir.
Diner: Ah, then, it can't be you who took
my order.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have never been in love..... But I imagine it’s similar to
the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Waiter, I can't
eat this food, it's terrible."
Waiter: "Well it’s no use complaining to me, I won't eat
it either."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(A waitress
is taking my father-in-law’s order, which comes with a choice of side dish.)
Waitress: “And what would you
like, sir?”
Father-In-Law: “Filet mignon, please.”
Waitress: “And how would you like
that cooked?”
Father-In-Law: “Medium, please.”
Waitress: “And which side?”
Father-In-Law: “Both.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A
customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air
conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned
down cause he was too cold, & so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient; he
walked back & forth & never once got angry. So finally, a second
customer asked him why he didn't just throw out the pest. "Oh, I really don't care or mind,"
said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air
conditioner."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An American tourist
went into a restaurant in a Spanish provincial city for dinner, and asked to be
served the specialty of the house. When the dish arrived, he asked what kind of
meat it contained. "Senor, these are the cojones," the waiter
replied. "The what, you say?" exclaimed the tourist. "They are
the testicles of the bull killed in the ring today," explained the waiter.
The tourist gulped but tasted the dish anyway, and found it delicious.
Returning the following evening, he asked for the same dish. After he finished
the meal, the tourist commented to the waiter: "Today's cojones are much
saltier and smaller than the ones I had yesterday." "That may be,
senor," agreed the waiter, "But the bull, he does not always
lose."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Want to drive a waiter crazy? Ask for an extra seat for your imaginary friend----fishducky
