Important (to me) notice: Starting next week, I'm cutting back a little on posting. I'm eliminating Wednesday's post--I will post on Mondays & Fridays only!!
Once
upon a time there was an elephant named Shirley (sorry, wrong story) a beetle
named Benny. He was very sad because he
didn’t have a girlfriend. He was very
handsome, for a bug, so he had lots of dates, but he just couldn’t find his
soulmate.
He
joined an online dating service (doesdatingbugyou.com) and they matched him
with several interesting ladybugs and other bugs that were ladies, but some of
them were not too ladylike. He brought
them flowers and they ate them. He would
take them out to dinner in a neighborhood tree, and after they had finished
their leaves, some of them tried to have him for dessert! There was this really cute potato bug named Petunia,
but whenever he touched her, she rolled into a ball.
Benny
was desperate. His friends felt sorry
for him and sent him on many blind dates.
One was with Cathy Cockroach. She
was much too tough for him and her tattoos put him off and besides, her table
manners were gross. Betty Bedbug slept
through their whole date. Belinda Bumblebee
and Sally Scorpion had such bad tempers that they frightened him, and to make
things even scarier, they had built-in weapons!
He couldn’t even have a conversation with Christine Cricket; she just
kept rubbing her legs together and saying, “It’s so hot in here!” Wendy Walking Stick was anorexic. Barbara Black Widow had already been married
sixteen times and, amazingly, all of her husbands had died on their wedding
night! Benny didn’t want to be number
seventeen. Patti Praying Mantis was
apparently a Jehovah’s Witness. She kept
trying to convert him. Celine Centipede
was four hours late for their date. It
took her that long just to get her shoes on!
There was absolutely no privacy to be had with Gladys Glow Worm. Every time he tried to kiss her, she turned
her light on.
His
date with Millie Moth didn’t work out, either, but they did become close
friends. She introduced him to her
cousin, Calista Caterpillar, and then sadly flew headfirst into a light. Calista wasn’t very good looking at the time,
even for a bug, but Benny thought she was special. After a few marvelous dates, he asked her to
marry him and she accepted his proposal.
She told him that she had to go away for a while because it was time for
her to pupate. She promised him that she
would be back and then they could marry.
He said that he would wait forever, if it was necessary.
Benny
was sad and lonely without Calista, the love of his life. One day he was crawling through the forest
and he heard someone call his name. He
looked up to see a gorgeous butterfly, but he didn’t recognize her. She said, “It’s me, Benny, your Calista. I’m back!
While I was pupating, I had a complete makeover so I could be beautiful
for you.” She fluttered to the ground
and wrapped her wings around him and they lived happily ever after.
