Wednesday, April 16, 2014


Important (to me) notice: Starting next week, I'm cutting back a little on posting.  I'm eliminating Wednesday's post--I will post on Mondays & Fridays only!!

Once upon a time there was an elephant named Shirley (sorry, wrong story) a beetle named Benny.  He was very sad because he didn’t have a girlfriend.  He was very handsome, for a bug, so he had lots of dates, but he just couldn’t find his soulmate.  
He joined an online dating service (doesdatingbugyou.com) and they matched him with several interesting ladybugs and other bugs that were ladies, but some of them were not too ladylike.  He brought them flowers and they ate them.  He would take them out to dinner in a neighborhood tree, and after they had finished their leaves, some of them tried to have him for dessert!  There was this really cute potato bug named Petunia, but whenever he touched her, she rolled into a ball.

Benny was desperate.  His friends felt sorry for him and sent him on many blind dates.  One was with Cathy Cockroach.  She was much too tough for him and her tattoos put him off and besides, her table manners were gross.  Betty Bedbug slept through their whole date.  Belinda Bumblebee and Sally Scorpion had such bad tempers that they frightened him, and to make things even scarier, they had built-in weapons!  He couldn’t even have a conversation with Christine Cricket; she just kept rubbing her legs together and saying, “It’s so hot in here!”  Wendy Walking Stick was anorexic.  Barbara Black Widow had already been married sixteen times and, amazingly, all of her husbands had died on their wedding night!  Benny didn’t want to be number seventeen.  Patti Praying Mantis was apparently a Jehovah’s Witness.  She kept trying to convert him.  Celine Centipede was four hours late for their date.  It took her that long just to get her shoes on!  There was absolutely no privacy to be had with Gladys Glow Worm.  Every time he tried to kiss her, she turned her light on.

His date with Millie Moth didn’t work out, either, but they did become close friends.  She introduced him to her cousin, Calista Caterpillar, and then sadly flew headfirst into a light.  Calista wasn’t very good looking at the time, even for a bug, but Benny thought she was special.  After a few marvelous dates, he asked her to marry him and she accepted his proposal.  She told him that she had to go away for a while because it was time for her to pupate.  She promised him that she would be back and then they could marry.  He said that he would wait forever, if it was necessary.

Benny was sad and lonely without Calista, the love of his life.  One day he was crawling through the forest and he heard someone call his name.  He looked up to see a gorgeous butterfly, but he didn’t recognize her.  She said, “It’s me, Benny, your Calista.  I’m back!  While I was pupating, I had a complete makeover so I could be beautiful for you.”  She fluttered to the ground and wrapped her wings around him and they lived happily ever after.